Save The Best For Last
by Katherine Austen
Summary: Post s3 finale. Everyone struggles with their decisions and how they come into play. Some people are just looking for that fresh start. Every character is in this, including Lexie. Please R & R.
1. Chapter 1: New Beginning

NOTES: New "huge fic" time for me. Everyone is in this, I'm going to be taking some wild twists and turns so everyone just stay put and hold on tight and hopefully you will all be pleased in the end :) This is my Season 4, the first chapter is more an introduction to everyone's frame of mine/where they are. Enjoy, please review!

* * *

If every ending were truly a new beginning, then Meredith Grey was struggling to find her own fresh start amongst the rubble of what used to be. She was holding onto her best friend, Cristina Yang, in a desperate attempt to keep them both on solid ground. As Cristina feel to the ground, Meredith would pull her back up, forcing her to stand, forcing her not to give in. Meredith's inner strength finally gave way and together the duo slipped to the floor, Cristina's head falling back on Meredith's shoulder as she continued to break, break until every piece of her lay a shattered memory of the woman she once was. Meredith slid her fingers over the hair above Cristina's temples and wrapped her arm around her waist, pulling her in even closer, feeling her quiver and shake with every sob.

There was nothing she could say, nothing she could do to fix the situation. Her words were like a Band-Aid, holding the pieces together but underneath that layer of protection would still exist cracks that could never be filled.

To Meredith it seemed as if he hadn't left. The chair was still worn from him sitting in it regularly, the bed was still made and paperwork still sitting neatly on the shelf. In Cristina's eyes, he was long gone and most likely never looking back. He found his solace in his Eugene Foote albums and his grandmother's photograph; she was yet to find hers.

* * *

This was Richard Webber's new beginning. Life had just handed him two tickets for "do-over" and he wasn't sure how to receive the gifts bestowed upon him. His wife was back in his life, love overcame tragedy and betrayal and he was lucky to have the opportunity to start over with her, he was blessed. Then there was his career, the very career that kept him away from his wife and allowed him to get far too involved with Ellis Grey. In the past he had always chosen the hospital over Adele, would she understand if he wanted to continue? Would she give up on him if he wanted to try everything over again?

He folded his arms over his chest as he stared out of the window of his office, he watched the people come and go as the pleased. He never had that option, he could never merely come and go. There were rules to be followed and guidelines to uphold. He remembered the days when everything in the field was fresh and new, when becoming Chief of Surgery was nothing but a dream, a distant blip on the radar of what could be…and then he thought of Ellis…and what could have BEEN. His entire career had been littered with choices, and now he was left to wonder if any of them were right. Should he have ended his marriage? Should he have ended things with Ellis? Should he have retired sooner? Should he continue?

He stood and watched the clouds on the horizon, as he was forced to make the final choice regarding his career.

* * *

Isobel Stevens sat alone in the pews of the First Baptist Church, still as the small statue of Jesus in the front hall. She felt sinful sitting in a church pew, dwelling on the memories of George O'Malley in her bedroom.

She had poured what was left of her heart out, leaving open and exposed. She laid it all on the line and he said nothing. He didn't run after her like the romantic movies, where the soft music plays and the guy gets the girl, girl gets the guy. She didn't get the guy this time, he didn't pick her. She questioned his choices over and over again, he picked his wife. He picked his wife and now they were trying to conceive a child and it sent Izzie's head spinning so fast she was relieved to be sitting against the stained oak of the church pew.

This was not the fresh start she was looking for, she wanted to start fresh with George as a lover, as her partner and now her arms were as empty as her heart. She had told him she would love him, regardless of the choices he made, and now she was forced to live out her words.

She stood, straightened her dress, her eyes to the floor. She shuffled out of the church and into the sunlight, she took a deep breath and wind teased at the hairs on the back of her neck. She wasn't sure where her life was going, but at that moment all she wanted was a hot shower. A hot shower so that she could desperately attempt to scrub away her sins and try to forget that George was no longer by her side.

* * *

Alex Karev's eyes surveyed the empty and perfectly kempt room he stood in. He kept thinking he has done the right thing, that it was better this way. He had let Ava in only to shut her out in the end. He thought he was protecting her from who he was, shading her from the drama of his life and the walls he put up because of it. He sat down on the freshly made bed and he could imagine her laughing and smiling at him. 'You don't realize what you've got until it's gone' could not fit the moment more perfectly. He couldn't give her the life she needed and her husband was willing to provide her with a house and stability. Alex didn't even live on his own and could hardly support himself.

His mind wandered to Addison, who despite her feelings turned him down and told him to go after Ava. She saw it when Alex refused to admit it, but Alex still couldn't help but feel that Addison was more than just a quickie in the on call room. She deserved better, Ava deserved better, hell even Izzie Stevens had deserved better. He let them all in just enough and then he pushed them away before they could truly see who he was. His tough exterior hid the broken mess of a little boy that cowered inside of him.

* * *

Callie Torres-O'Malley had so much to be happy about, and yet she couldn't escape the dark thoughts that clouded her mind. She saw Izzie Stevens sitting in the pews, alone, and Callie could sense her guilt and sorrow. She had marked her territory, she had won, and she thought it would be so much easier than this but now she was plagued with more questions than answers. She smiled a bit as she thought about George coming to her in the on call room and agreeing to have a baby with her, but her smile quickly became a frown as her fears overwhelmed her excitement.

Izzie and George were always a complicated situation that she had walked right into and struggled to maintain control over. The situation continued to get worse, causing tension and agony and now George had finally come to her and given her exactly what she wanted but she still felt as if the pieces of the puzzle had not completely fused together.

She had just been given the title of Chief Resident, she and her husband were trying to conceive their first child and yet her joy was constantly buried by her paranoia. She wanted things to be simple for once, her entire life felt as if someone were placing her on the backburner. Now, George had brought her forward but he was doing a horrid job at hiding the guilt in his eyes. Had he given in to her to cushion his own fall? Could a baby truly fix everything and bring them together again? This was Callie's own new beginning, but why was her mind stuck on the past?

* * *

He didn't get Chief of Surgery, and he didn't get the girl. This was a normal day in the life of Mark Sloan, where everything he aspired to obtain just blew up in his face. Everyone laughed but he didn't laugh with them and he was tired of being everyone's joke. He didn't want to simply be someone's transcontinental "booty call", he tried to show Addison Montgomery this, time and time again, but he obviously never tried hard enough. To her, he'd always be that 'manwhore', the one who always thought with his groin. He was successfully proving he was capable of more than just sex until he saw her emerge from the on call room with Alex Karev. He didn't fail her, she failed him and yet he took the blame, he lied so that she wouldn't have to feel guilty herself.

He loved her, he always loved her and he'd never stop loving her, but he couldn't force her to feel the same towards him. Instead, he put up his white flag of surrender and tried hard to pretend she was just a friend. He tried to pretend he didn't give up his best friend for her and didn't take a job cross country just to be near her.

He sat alone in the surgeon's lounge, and imagined her by his side. He always thought she was worth fighting for, but now he realized letting her go was the greatest proof of his love, even if she didn't see it.

* * *

She stopped wondering if he was going to come back a tried to convince herself she didn't care if he did or not. It was a lie, of course. She did care, she cared too much because she actually let him in and he stormed out of her life like he wasn't an important part of it in the first place. As if he could just leave and think everything would be fine without him.

Cristina Yang hated crying, she hated emotion, and she hated feeling as if her world was falling apart.

The tears continued to fall, and the sobbing didn't subside.

She _really_ hated crying, but she hated herself more for letting him in, for falling in love.

* * *

Was it really over? Derek Shepherd wondered as he fingered the keys to his Land Rover and took a deep breath.

Meredith Grey was everything to him and he blew her off for a chance at being Chief of Surgery. His own insecurities lead them here and when he finally realized it, she pushed him out again. She closed herself off and he couldn't reach her, he didn't know where she was on a mental level and he wasn't sure how he could go about finding her either.

There was no mistaking what he felt for her, but if she could not open herself to him then where would they go? He felt like he was on the road to nowhere, running low on gas.

He had tried hard to fix her, the mend the wounds that so many before him had left. He tried to peel back the scars and find the perfection buried beneath. He thought he had succeeded, thought he had found the girl deep inside, but she shut herself down again…and locked that girl away again.

He didn't mean to hurt her; he didn't mean to have it turn out like this. He didn't tell her about the flirting at the bar to push her away; he only hoped she would open her eyes to him again.

* * *

She had checked the corkboard so many times she had lost count. She hoped that each time she looked the name would no longer say _Calliope Torres_, but _Miranda Bailey_. It never changed, nor did the main question she continued to ask herself, _why_?

She had made too many mistakes, she knew this. She showed too much compassion towards her interns and took the blame far too many times. She treated them like family without letting them see it, and in making them her surrogate children was her greatest mistake, or was it? She was so confused, she was struggling to think up a mental list of what she had done wrong but everything could be argued. Richard himself had basically told her the title was hers, so she asked herself yet again, why?

She thought she was a shoe in, that she had it in the bag and didn't have to lose any sleep over it. How did Callie Torres come up from nowhere and steal this from her? Had she really been so self absorbed and arrogant regarding Chief Resident that she didn't bother to notice the competition?

* * *

George O'Malley sat himself down on the bench in between the lockers and took a deep breath. He tried to grab one of the many thoughts running rampant through his mind. His wife, trying to have a baby, the drunken night with Izzie, the kiss in the elevator…Izzie saying that she was in love with him? Now, on top of his own drama he was yet again dragged into Meredith's. He had just met a young woman he was absolutely sure was her other sister and he questioned why it was always him that got thrown into the mix.

His mind shifted back to Callie and how happy she was, she got Chief Resident and he told her they could have a baby. His guilt weighed heavy on his mind and his fingertips touched his temples. How could he bring a child into the world riding on the guilt of what he had done with Izzie Stevens? He just wanted to protect Callie from his mistakes and he was terrified of it all coming back to him, especially now that a child could potentially be brought into everything.

He kept thinking he was doing the right thing, that leaving Callie in the dark could protect her, but now he was waist deep in something he didn't know how to get himself out of. His mind shifted yet again, this time to his father. He wondered what Harold O'Malley would think, and it hit him hard in the chest. Disappointment, his father would be utterly disappointed in him.

* * *

She wished her mother had lived to see this day. Lexie Grey had just begun her internship at Seattle Grace hospital, and not even a day before she had watched her mother be lowered into the earth. It was Susan Grey's final goodbye. She had never imagined it like this; since she was very young she always pictured her mother by her side, cheering her on. She woke up to the hum of the vent under her bed instead of her mother's smile and warm laughter.

As if losing her mother wasn't enough, she had discovered she would be working with the sister she knew nothing about. The entire situation fogged her brain and she closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure and gather her thoughts. As a child she was told she had an older sister who lived with her mother, her mother who refused to allow Thatcher Grey around their child. She only knew that Meredith Grey had relocated with her mother to Boston, but by the time Lexie made her way to Harvard, Meredith was nowhere to be found in Massachusetts.

She didn't expect to return home and discover that Meredith was about to become a resident where she was set to start her internship. She didn't expect to hear her father's tone turn cruel as he mentioned the daughter he struggled to forget. Lexie had never heard him speak of her and now, he wouldn't stop. He blamed her for the death of Susan and Lexie had no idea what to believe anymore.

* * *

Even with his grandmother's photograph carefully placed next to the bed, he couldn't make the hotel room feel like home. Preston Burke had been so sure he had done the right thing, but now he was not sure of anything at all. He grabbed his trumpet and slowly brought it to his lips, his fingers pressed against the brass and he began to play, stopping when every note emitted from the instrument sounded warped. Nothing sounded right, everything seemed distant and foreign.

He left her, left her standing in the church looking radiant, looking like a new woman and it broke him to say goodbye. He had to do it, he had to let her go because he felt as if her were restraining her from unleashing her true potential. He sacrificed everything by letting her go, but love was about sacrifices. Preston Burke loved Cristina Yang, and good-bye could never change that.

* * *

It was the straw that broke the camels back for Addison Montgomery. She didn't get Chief of Surgery and therefore had nothing in Seattle to hold her down anymore. No Mark Sloan, no Derek Shepherd and not even an Alex Karev could keep her in rainy, clouded atmosphere that seemed to do nothing but drag her down.

She was free. She was free the moment she dialed Naomi Bennett and accepted a job offer. She was free as soon as she started placing her belongings in cardboard boxes and scribbled her name on them with permanent marker. She was free when she hugged her best friend, Callie Torres-O'Malley and whispered a good-bye before kissing her on the forehead and telling her that she WOULD be her friend if she got pregnant. (Especially if she named the baby after her.) She was free when she walked out of the doors of Seattle Grace for the last time, breaking her contract and grinning. This was her first start, her new life. She had closed many doors and now as she looked forward there was only one…and she was ready to step forward.


	2. Chapter 2: The First Taste

_Beep, beep, beep._

Meredith Grey groaned as she rolled over to turn off her alarm, instead she knocked it off of her nightstand. She scrambled to locate it as she blinked away the fog in her eyes.

"SHUT IT OFF, SHUT IT OFF. I'M AWAKE MEREDITH!" Cristina Yang shouted from the other side of the bed.

_Beep, beep, beep. _

Meredith finally felt it under her bed and just pulled the clock from the wall and threw it into her closet.

She threw herself back into her bed with an exaggerated sigh before turning to look at Cristina.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked.

"Are you kidding me?" Cristina yelped, sitting up. "I'm going to actually get to practice my specialty. No more minor things like sutures and rectal exams. This is mildly exciting, okay, not mildly…but I don't want to sound over enthusiastic and desperate and…HUMAN ORGANS WILL BE SPRAWLED OUT IN FRONT OF ME! Like a smorgasbord of bloody goodness!" Cristina grinned.

"Your mild excitement is leaving me mildly disturbed…" Meredith sighed.

"What, why?" Cristina asked, she caught the look in Meredith's eyes and rolled her own. "I'm fine. I'm dealing, this is how I deal…by cutting people open and prodding their innards. Let me cope!"

"Yeah, well…I don't want you going all postal and whatever. I can picture you having a nervous breakdown in the middle of surgery and like…ripping someone's heart out with your teeth," Meredith stated.

"Okay…who is leaving who mildly disturbed here?" Cristina asked as she stood up and stretched. "We're no longer the bottom of the totem pole here. We have minor pull, we mean something…embrace it! We're people now! Actual people!"

"Yeah well…" Meredith sighed. "I really regret sleeping with an attending."

"The feeling is mutual," Cristina groaned.

"Why couldn't we have slept with attendings with really boring specialties…instead I get the brain surgeon and oh…look at that, I'm going into neuro!"

"And I'm cardio…we're idiots."

"Very big, dirty whore, stupid whatever idiots," Meredith whined.

Both sulked for a moment before they heard Izzie whining in the hallway.

"Oh, what now?" Meredith sighed. They opened the door to see Izzie throwing herself against the bathroom door.

"Is there some sort of problem?" Meredith asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"Alex has been in there WAY too long," Izzie whined. "Other people need to shower! Wait…are you two busy? Can I use yours?"

Before Meredith could answer Cristina ran to the bathroom and started the water.

"Ugh! Seriously?!" Izzie growled. She turned back to the door and yelled, "ALEX KAREV, IF YOU'RE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING…WRAP IT UP. I CAN'T BE LATE!"

The door swung open as Izzie leaned into, causing her to nearly fall over.

"You wish I was doing what you thought I was doing," he grinned, pulling his towel tighter around his waist and zooming down the hall.

* * *

Across Seattle another alarm clock was beeping wildly. _Beep, beep, beep._ Callie Torres-O'Malley sat up, stretched and reached over her husband to turn off the alarm. She brought her hand back, but not before stopping to run her fingers through his hair. 

George O'Malley's eyes fluttered open and he gave a small smile, "Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," Callie smiled. "Time to get up, get ready for work…are you excited? I'm excited. Chief Resident!" She squealed.

"Callie…" George sighed. "We need to talk."

"I don't like your expression," Callie managed to squeeze out past the lump in her throat.

"I failed my exam," George sighed. "I'm not going in to work today. I'm out of the program."

Callie was expecting to hear him say something else and was mildly relieved for a moment, until his words fully hit her, "What?" she gasped.

"I didn't pass. I failed, Callie. I failed you, I failed Bailey, I failed my friends…my family. I failed MYSELF," he said, his eyes shifting up to the ceiling.

"George…why…why didn't you tell me this last night? I don't understand this. You studied, you were doing so well! I don't get this, I don't get this at all…" Callie sighed bringing her hand to her forehead.

"I can't repeat my internship, that's my only other option. I just can't. It's not me…I failed, so I have to live with the consequences."

"You can't just give up, George!"

"This isn't giving up, it's accepting my fate. I didn't pass; I don't go back to the hospital. I can't do this over, it doesn't seem right."

"You weren't fated to fail your exam, alright? We…we'll get through this…"

"Maybe it's just one big sign that I'm not supposed to be in the medical field," George sighed.

"No fate, no signs, none of that okay? Look are you SURE you don't want to come in with me today?"

"I'm very sure," George nodded.

"That's it then? You're just giving up completely. The time and effort you put into medical school and you're throwing it all away? The money your parents invested into putting you through school, it's wasted?"

"Callie…"

"No George! You're giving up! You can't 'Callie' me, you just can't."

"You need to start getting ready, you don't want to be late for your first day as Chief Resident," George said, forcing a smile.

"This isn't about me right now, okay? Don't change the subject. George, I'm asking you to really think about this, REALLY think about it. Are you ready to throw all of it away?"

"I thought I was…"

"But?"

"I don't know. I don't know especially with you sitting there looking at me like that."

Callie took a deep breath, "George think about your Dad, think about how proud he was seeing you do your rounds…George, if you can't do this for me, do it for your father."

* * *

Meredith pulled up to Seattle Grace with Cristina tapping her fingers against the center console of the jeep. 

"Here we go," Meredith said, taking a deep breath.

Cristina stepped out of the passenger side, nearly getting run over as Alex zoomed into the adjacent parking lot.

"Damnit evil spawn!" Cristina yelped.

"I was trying to make you my first case of the day," Alex smirked.

"Yeah, like they'd let King of the Vagina's work on me. Didn't you pick OBGYN?"

"Yeah, so what, I don't want to hear any lip from you," Alex growled.

"How could you pick gynie over plastics?" Cristina laughed.

"Because, alright? Don't ask questions."

Izzie popped out of the passenger side of Alex's car with a grin on her face and her usual purple mug, "We're moving on up!" she squealed.

"Oh, please don't start singing…" Cristina groaned.

The four junior residents stepped back as a red '66 Mustang Coupe zoomed by them, blasting the Sex Pistols. They watched the car pulled up into the parking spot marked "Calliope Torres- O'Malley, MD. Chief Resident."

Callie slipped out of her car after the song finished, looking professional yet still drop dead gorgeous. Izzie raised an eyebrow at Alex who was rather obviously checking Callie out. Callie adjusted her sunglasses as she smacked her gum and gave a proud grin at the foursome standing around, staring at her.

"Hey look, it's my baby residents," Callie smirked. "Change and then meet me in conference room three, on time please. Punctuation is important with me, you know…just dropping a hint…"

"Uh…" Izzie started.

"That means move your ass, Stevens."

Callie turned and walked off towards the entrance leaving Izzie to sulk.

"I seriously loathe the fact that she's our boss," Izzie whined.

"More like teacher," Meredith said with an pleasant nod.

"Okay, I loathe the fact that she's our teacher."

"Shit, I don't." Alex grinned. "I'll go to detention with her, she can smack me around with a ruler…we can bang more than erasers…"

"You are so disgusting," Izzie groaned. "She's married."

"Hasn't stopped half the staff of S Grace before," Alex laughed. "Dude, she's hot."

Izzie rolled her eyes and then turned to Meredith, "George wasn't with her."

"Just because they are married it doesn't mean they have to go everywhere together," Cristina stated.

Meredith turned to make sure Cristina was alright after she muttered the dreaded marriage word and then turned back to Izzie, "Maybe he's already here or he's running late?"

"Damn, she's going to punish him…that's hot," Alex muttered to himself.

"Okay, the point here is….why do where care? We'll see him when we see him…let's go!"

* * *

Callie cleared her throat as she stood before the group. There were eleven of them all together and they all sat around the table chit chatting. Callie cleared her throat again before speaking and everyone turned to look at her. 

"I should be safe to say you all know how this works, right?" Callie asked. Everyone nodded.

"You have all chosen your specialties and have been matched with attendings that specialize in your chosen field. You are still annoying interns in their eyes, trust me, but now you can get specific. You will focus on your field unless you are otherwise needed. I will be working with all of you when I am not on my own cases. I will check on your progress, have you write reports and even scrubs in and observe you all for my own reports. I will be a very busy woman so I have no time for bullshit. Aside from babysitting you guys I also have to keep tabs on the senior residents and make sure they are doing their jobs with the first year interns. I don't care who you are sleeping with, I don't care who you have slept with, I don't care who you like, who you loathe, all I care about is you getting your jobs done and getting them done right. Are we clear?"

The group nodded and Callie gave an agreement nod.

"Good, with that said. I'm going to go over your specialty choices and the doctor I'm assigning you to."

Callie read through the other random junior residents before she got to the last group who she was very familiar with.

"Alex Karev, Neonatal. Your attending today is Dr. Lizbeth Saunders, she's Addison's replacement. I know nothing about her, don't ask."

Alex nodded as Callie moved on to Izzie, "Isobel Stevens, general surgery. You will actually be shadowing a senior resident, Bailey today."

"Bailey, really?" Izzie asked.

Callie nodded, "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Of course not," Izzie grinned.

"Cristina Yang. Cardiothoracic. You will be shadowing Dr. Erika Hahn, she is temporarily standing in for…" Callie watched Cristina expression, taking a deep breath. She truly liked Cristina now and didn't want to hurt her but she continued, "Preston Burke."

Cristina's expression did not change, she simply nodded and Callie watched her for a moment before continuing.

"Meredith Grey, Neurosurgery. Dr. Derek Shepherd."

"I figured," Meredith sighed.

Callie gave Meredith a friendly reassuring smile and then turned to the group. "So, I'm unleashing you onto this hospital. I have a surgery lined up and when I get out I'm tracking all of you. So don't do anything stupid because I am in ortho and I CAN break bones."

* * *

George O'Malley sat behind the well of his car in the parking lot and debated backing out of the spot and heading back to the hotel. 

He thought about what Callie had said but more importantly he thought about his father. He couldn't let his father down, there was no way. Harold O'Malley would push him to do the internship again but to do it ten times better than he had before.

He took a deep breath and then exhaled as he opened the door and slipped out.

He made his way through the courtyard, past the sliding doors and up to the Chief of Surgery's office and was well prepared to see a new face.

Instead he opened the door to Richard Webber and was taken aback.

"Chief…you…aren't you leaving?"

"I could ask you the same question O'Malley," Richard said, motioning to the chair in front of him.

* * *

Miranda Bailey had just shown her new interns the ropes and was pointing them off to their jobs. She spied Meredith down the hall going over a chart by herself, she was curious to know how Cristina was doing. 

"Grey," she called out.

Meredith turned to spy her but noticed a girl to her left had turned as well.

Bailey looked first to Meredith, then to Lexie and the connection hit her like a brick.

Meredith turned to face Lexie, who seemed rather shocked.

"Lexie Grey," Lexie said, offering her hand.

"Meredith Grey," Meredith replied, shaking Lexie's hand.

"I…believe you are my sister," Lexie stated after an awkward moment of silence.


	3. Chapter 3: Keep Breathing

NOTES: Just ride with me here guys, the roads gonna get bumpy here for a bit but I promise if you wait it out things will be FINE. So pllllleeease no angry mobs outside of my house, lol.

* * *

Meredith held her breath as Lexie's words made twists and turns throughout her mind. _I believe I am your sister._

She stared at Lexie for a moment, taking in her features and letting the words sink in.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked.

"Thatcher Grey is my father," Lexie stated and Meredith finally released her hand.  
Meredith took a long, deep breath as her eyes shifted to the areas in the linoleum that were worn from the excessive amount of footsteps that passed through the hall.

"If by blood, we're sisters…then so be it. But I'm sorry, I have no father…I have no family," Meredith stated before she took off down the hall.

Lexie didn't watch her walk off; her feet didn't shift to run after her and the words refused to escape her throat.

Meredith felt as if she were drowning all over again; it was as if the freezing water was surrounding her yet again and her lungs were filled. She gasped, trying to breathe but her chest was tight and her throat felt as if it were closing.

She slipped into the first closet she saw, closed the door behind her and threw herself back against the door as soon as she was inside.

She closed her eyes and struggled to breathe, struggled to wrangle the thoughts racings through her brain.

"Dude, are you alright?" A familiar voice asked from the back of the closet.

Meredith's eyes shot open and she focused on Alex Karev, sitting with his knees to his chest, turning his cell phone over and over again in his palm.

"There are how many closets in Seattle Grace and I seriously pick an occupied one?"

"It's a big closet. I'm willing to share I guess," Alex said.

"My sister…I just met my sister," Meredith sighed, moving away from the door to sit next to Alex, pulling her knees into her chest and hugging them tight.

"Haven't you already met her?" Alex asked, confused and raising an eyebrow.

"No, this is the other one…the Harvard one…the Oh-My-Daddy's-So-Proud-of-Me one.." Meredith sighed, "She has scrubs on. She had scrubs on and a name tag."

"She works here? Dude…"

"I think she's a first year," Meredith said, messing with an eyelet on her converse.

"That's shitty, I mean really shitty," Alex said, trying his best to set his own issues aside and be sympathetic.

"Understatement," Meredith sulked. "You know, I've accepted it. I've accepted the fact that my father is afraid of me and blames me. I get it, I'm dealing. But no, this is Meredith Grey…some divine force thinks it's funny to make me their punching bag and so they throw her into my life. I don't need or want a sister because that means Thatcher… and I'm accepting the no Thatcher here….I'm accepting the fact that I'm alone!"

"You're obviously doing a shithole job of accepting if you're sitting here in a closet right now," Alex stated.

"Oh, and you're not sitting next to me?" Meredith asked, "And for the record, why are YOU in here?"

"The new Gynie leader is…"

"Not Addison…" Meredith finished for him.

"And I…"

"Can't stop thinking about Ava?" Meredith asked.

"No," Alex said, Meredith raised an eyebrow at him, "Whatever, alright? Yes."

"Have you tried looking her up? Maybe they're in the phone book or something?"

"I'm not a stalker. What's done is done."

Meredith gave Alex a look and he glared at her, "Don't look at me like that; you make me feel like a pussy."

"It's nice to see your soft side, refreshing even," Meredith said with a small smile. Alex just laughed a bit and rolled his eyes before changing the subject.

"The new Neonatal surgeon, she's like…strict and by the book, very quiet. I flew solo this morning on a cesarean and her standing there watching me gave me the fucking creeps."

"I'd never thought I'd say it but I kind of miss Addison," Meredith said.

"Yeah well, she had to do her thing," Alex shrugged.

"I guess we all do," Meredith sighed.

"You going back to dark and twisty Meredith for a while?" Alex smirked.

"Yes, you want to join the club? I'm sure Izzie will bake us cupcakes and we can sit around drinking tequila and sulking."

"I'm always down for alcohol, especially with the lifetime supply you just stocked up in your liquor cabinet."

"I felt it appropriate seeing as Cristina is going to explode one of these days and will want to drown herself in Jose Cuervo and Izzie…"

"What the fuck is up with Izzie?" Alex asked.

"You noticed too?"

'Yeah, she's…bitter or something. Fuck, I don't know… I'm no shrink, she's just…"

"Not Izzie?"

"Dude, are you an expert in sentence finishing?"

"I guess so," Meredith grinned. "But you're right. I don't know if the whole wedding thing sparked up some emotion…but she's also unbelievably tense towards Callie and bitched out Cristina and I for allowing her to break the inner circle…"

"Bitter," Alex nodded.

Meredith's pager began to go off and she sighed, looking at it. "I have to take this…Thank you," Meredith smiled, touching Alex's shoulder.

"For?" Alex asked.

"Being an excellent closet companion," Meredith grinned.

"Yeah well…see you tonight?" Alex asked.

"Of course," Meredith nodded.

-------------------

Derek Shepherd could not believe his luck. Standing before him was the very brunette that caught his eye at the Emerald City Bar a couple nights before. She was wearing pale blue scrubs, a lab coat and was sorting through labs at the nurses' station. He laughed to himself a bit: was this a strange coincidence? Was he some sort of intern magnet?

"Hello," he said, his signature "dreamy" grin sprawling across his face.

"Hel-" Lexie stopped as she looked up at him and then laughed a bit. "Oh! The very guy who turned down my drink offer, this is…nice?"

"Yeah, I apologize for that. It wasn't you; I was just in the middle of a bachelor party and…"

"It's alright," Lexie laughed. "I can handle rejection just fine."

"Funny that you work here," Derek grinned.

"You should throw in awkward," Lexie laughed. "I just started actually. My first official day."

"Ah, it doesn't get any better."

"Oh, are you offering advice?" Lexie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, but I am offering a release from the stress, if you'll accept."

"Oh, really?" Lexie asked, turning to completely face him. "I don't know… what sort of release?"

"Drinks, this time I'm offering. I too can handle rejection just fine."

"Well, if you find that I'm worth waiting for, I accept the offer. I'm working a straight forty eight…so if you can't make it until Wednesday…"

"Hm, I'll see if I can work you into my busy schedule," Derek laughed.

"Lexie," Lexie stated, holding out her hand.

"Ah, Derek," Derek said as she shook her hand.

"Well, Derek. I have work to do, so now that I know where to find you…I'll let you know about those drinks," Lexie nodded.

Derek nodded back and watched her walk off. When he made his way over to where the woman was standing, he had felt confident in his approach. He had never hesitated when walking up to a beautiful woman, but now thoughts of Meredith hung heavily in his mind. This was his release; he had to let her go. Time and time again she'd regress and it was as if the battles he waged for her heart were lost. He once stood victorious in love, and now he was feeling the agony of defeat. Meredith Grey was a broken woman who found trouble in loving herself, much less another individual. He picked her, he chose her, he loved her, but now, he truly had to stop breathing for her. Lexie's sparkling eyes and warm smile were a new territory, one he wasn't even crystal clear he wanted to explore. She had stood before him, fresh and exciting, and Derek was ready and willing to take a chance.

----------------------

"Alright, which one of you failed the intern exam?" Izzie asked as she set down her tray.

"Uh, none of us?" Cristina Yang asked.

"Someone in our group did," Izzie stated.

"That makes no sense," Alex said through a mouthful of food.

"What he said," Meredith sighed.

"Olivia and Tyler both mentioned something," Izzie said.

"Well, obviously they don't know what the fuck they are talking about otherwise one of us would probably be sitting at the kiddie table over there," Alex said, pointing his fork over at the first years.

"We're here, George is at Mercy West," Meredith said. "You sure it wasn't someone from like Dr. Rodriguez's group or whatever?"

Izzie thought for a second and then her mouth dropped, "It was George…"

"Dude, O'Malley's living it up over at the West right now, probably wrecking appendixes ALONE."

"No…I have this gut feeling. I…"

"She's going to pull out her crystal ball and start chanting," Cristina said, rolling her eyes.

"Actually…she may not even need the crystal ball," Meredith said, setting down her fork and looking over Izzie's shoulder. All four junior residents turned a spied George by the elevators talking with Callie.

"Why is he here?" Alex asked.

"Because he failed his exam," Izzie said.

"We don't KNOW that," Meredith said.

"If he were working at Mercy West, he'd start today like every other program. He failed, wow…see he failed because he didn't use the wifey's resources," Cristina nodded.

"Shut up," Izzie groaned.

"Doesn't Torres have some pull?" Alex asked.

"Not in that case…," Cristina replied.

"That's not fair," Meredith sighed. "I got a second chance, why can't he?"

"Because you're Meredith Grey," Izzie sighed.

"Shut up, Izzie," Cristina snapped. "Because you retook it right away and didn't fill ANYTHING in. He has no excuse. You had just lost your fake mommy and your father of the year there went all Daddy Dearest on you…"

"It's still not fair," Meredith said, feeling a bit guilty even.

"What happens now? …to George I mean…" Izzie asked.

"Isn't he out of the program?" Alex asked.

"Something like that," Cristina nodded.

"Damn, that sucks," Alex said before cramming another forkful of food in his mouth.

------------------------------------

"I'm proud of you, George," Callie smiled.

"Thanks," George softly said.

"We're still getting our fresh start, and you won't be distracted this time around. Fresh faces, new experiences. You've got an advantage over all the first years because you're experienced and that way you can get in on the best surgeries," Callie said.

"Or I'll get passed up because of my experience," George shrugged.

"George, look on the bright side for once, alright? Things are going to look up for us and maybe this is just what you needed to get into the right frame of mind regarding your career," Callie suggested.

"You're right," George smiled. "You're always right."

"Glad you can acknowledge it," Callie laughed. "Are you starting right now?"

George nodded, "I can."

"Go for it, I have a surgery in fifteen, I'll be in for a while, arthoplasty… I'll try and find you if you're here when I get out," Callie smiled softly.

"Sounds good," George said, giving her a light kiss on the lips. Callie squeezed his shoulder before entering the elevator.

"George…" Izzie sighed as she made her way over.

"Izzie, I don't have time to talk right now, okay?" George firmly stated.

Izzie gasped at his tone and folded her arms over her chest. "You don't need to take everything out on me, George O'Malley."

"Look, I have to get myself together. I have to restart my entire internship today. I'm not mentally prepared right now to take on anything else."

"What is wrong with you?" Izzie groaned.

"Izzie! Just stop, okay? I don't want to talk about anything right now," George sighed.

"So you're cutting me off again?" Izzie asked. "You decide to have a baby and then it's back to leaving me in the dark? You can't keep doing this to me. You can't let me in and push me away; you can't be there whenever it's convenient for you!"

"Well then, I just won't be there at all. I CAN'T, Izzie," George said, shaking his head before pushing the button to the second elevator. "I'm sorry," he said as the doors opened and he slipped inside.

Izzie's arms fell to her sides and she shook her head in disbelief. She wanted to hate him, she TRIED to loathe him, but the love so felt was so deeply embedded into her heart that she couldn't overpower it. Instead she stood defeated, digging her teeth into the sensitive flesh of her cheek so that she would not cry.


	4. Chapter 4: When You're Gone

George's mind was a tangled mess of thoughts and questions. Callie kept reassuring him he had done the right thing but staring down the halls of Seattle Grace, he wasn't sure of anything at all. It was as if his life had split into two paths. On one side, there was Izzie, tapping her foot and urging him to take hers. On the other side, there was Callie, giving him_ the_ look and folding her arms over her chest, sighing as he looked back and forth. His relationship with Izzie had become so complicated that his head began to spin as her face invaded his thoughts. Izzie…the best friend, the blonde stacked supermodel. The one who always treated him like a brother in the past and had now confessed her undying love for him. He had pushed the attraction to her aside for so long that it overwhelmed him when the feelings came back with a heavy thud in his heart. She could always make him laugh when he struggled to even smile himself; she frustrated the hell out of him but could quickly fix it with a speech declaring her support and baked goods. Then there was Callie, with her classic Hollywood beauty and fiery personality. She got him from the beginning; she never treated him like a brother and declared her love with an undying passion. She was into him and she stood by his side, struggling to make a peace with his pre existing friends. She never gave up on him, even when he frustrated the hell out of her she just waited in her own way. They both had their own qualities that caused them to stand out in his heart, but he knew a definite choice had to be made. He thought that by choosing to have a baby with Callie his choice would be seen crystal clear, but it wasn't. His mind was still fogged with Izzie Stevens's smile and contagious laughter.

He couldn't love Izzie, it wasn't right. His own father had raved on and on about how perfect Callie was for him and yet he kept passing her over for Izzie's personal problems and the guilt he felt for a drunken night in her bedroom. Callie didn't deserve to be put on the back burner all the time, but George was struggling to let Izzie go. Izzie had stood before him the day of the wedding and stated that she'd love him even if he chose Callie and that she'd STILL be there, yet he saw the pained look in her eyes, he saw her struggle to understand her own words as they fell from her mouth.

He sighed as he carefully placed his things back in his locker and slipped his lab coat over his shoulders. His fresh start as an intern was supposed to be his fresh start in general, and he knew Izzie wasn't supposed to be part of his new life. He knew now that he had to set her straight, once and for all.

* * *

"How's it going, Chief Resident?" Bailey asked, setting down some charts on the nurses' station and watching Callie rub her temples in frustration.

"I'm not going to lie, this is tough shit," Callie sighed."How are your new interns?"

"First class suck ups, worse than last year, minus the nasty sleeping with attendings drama…or have I spoke too soon?"

"Too soon," Callie laughed. "George find you yet?"

"So he decided to redo his internship?"

Callie nodded and Bailey sighed, "I still don't get how that boy failed his exams."

"I don't either," Callie stated. "But what's done is done, right?"

"It would be nice if the Chief talked to me, in general. He seems to think I'm telepathic and will just know my interns back stories."

"What do you mean?"

"Well this is the first I've heard about your husband and I had no clue that Lexie Grey was Meredith Grey's sister."

"She is?" Callie asked. "That's…weird…he can do that?"

"She's here isn't she?"

"Good point," Callie stated.

"That's the last thing I need is more Grey family drama. I should have been a High School teacher; I bet that is much less stressful than this damn hospital."

"Can I ask you something?" Callie said, pushing off of the counter to face Bailey, who had just turned to walk off. Bailey turned back around slowly and raised an eyebrow at Callie.

"How do you do it? The baby and the career?" Callie asked.

Bailey gave a drawn out, exaggerated sigh, "There is no amount of studying, no books, no classes, no time in the ER that will prepare you for having a child. Everyone will tell you their stories and it will not apply to you, because every baby is different. Not every baby will sleep through the night if you put rice cereal in its bottle, not every baby will take a pacifier or like a bed time story. Having a baby is anything but easy and it is anything but perfect. A baby is added stress and a baby does not fix things. It is a human life. Yes, we deal with lives every day as surgeons, but those lives come and go. A baby, you cannot just discharge it. You have a bad day at work, that baby does not care, it just wants to be held, fed, comforted changed. You cannot compare the two and it is hell to combine them, but in the end it is all worth it to wake up every morning to see a gummy smile and hear it say 'mama'." She looked at Callie and sighed, "Wait it out. You have a lot on your hands right now, and the last thing you want is to be treated like a Mommy on the surgical floor."

Bailey gathered her own paper work and then tapped it against the desk so the edges would meet. "If you want you can take my son for a day and then we'll see if you still got that broody look in your eyes."

Callie laughed and shook her head, "No thanks," she said. "I have a feeling it would make it worse."

"That's what they all say," Bailey said as she walked off waving her finger at Callie and saying, "No babies."

* * *

Lexie Grey could feel eyes staring at her, and yet every time she'd turn the trio of faces to her left would turn back to act as if they didn't even notice her.

"Okay, I'm not stupid. Is there toilet paper stuck to my shoe? Bird shit in my hair? I can FEEL your eyes burning holes in my head here. Come on, what is it?"

Izzie, Alex and Cristina all looked at each other before Cristina finally spoke.

"You're Meredith's sister," Cristina stated.

"Word travels fast," Lexie retorted.

"Stay away from her," Cristina said firmly. Lexie raised an eyebrow and watched Alex and Izzie fold their arms over their chests like some sort of surgical mob bosses.

"Excuse me?"

"Meredith has enough on her plate and does not need you trying to bond with her. I understand you've got questions that need answering and what not but Meredith doesn't have any answers for you at the moment so therefore…"

"Back off," Izzie finished.

"Yeah, okay, and what are you guys, her stooges?"

"Cristina Yang," Cristina said with a proud grin, offering her hand. "I'm the top cardiothoracic resident, an expert in my field if you will, and I graduated the top of my class. I could care less that you are princess of the ass kissers…" Cristina leaned in close and whispered, "I could hurt you and make it look like an accident."

Lexie gulped as Cristina, Izzie and Alex turned and entered the elevator.

Obviously, she needed a new plan of approach.

* * *

A short while after her confrontation with Lexie Grey, Cristina was back discussing surgeries with Erika Hahn. She had successfully avoided personal conversation for most of the day and was hoping to leave without one mention of Preston Burke. Her hopes were quickly demolished as Erika spoke up.

"You know I've never known Preston Burke to be the vacation sort of guy. Where did he run off to? Or better yet…what's he running from?"

"I…beg your pardon?" Cristina asked, acting as if her questions were flies buzzing in her ears.

"Preston. Chief Webber didn't give me many details, I'm just curious to know how he's doing…."

"He's fine, just fine," Cristina nodded.

Erika nodded as she read over a patient's chart, "Good to know."

"I think we should bump Mr. Richards above Mrs. Bassoni," Cristina stated.

"I disagree," Erika said without looking up from her paperwork. "I am, however, mildly impressed by your performance today so I will allow you to make that choice. Preston has worked wonders with you, I can see it clearly."

"Thank you, Doctor Hahn," Cristina muttered.

"Don't thank me, thank Preston," Erika laughed. "Though I don't want him knowing I gave him all the credit."

Cristina sighed and pulled out Mrs. Bassoni's charts, looking it over a few times before Erika spoke up again.

"I think Preston would have a lot to say about your work here today too," Erika said.

"How about we don't talk about Preston Burke?" Cristina snapped, before turning and heading out of the room, allowing the door to slam behind her. Erika Hahn smirked and chuckled a bit to herself.

Cristina jumped when she saw Meredith standing at the window to the room, "Don't get too close to the bars, Clarice." Cristina groaned.

Meredith raised an eyebrow at her and Cristina sighed, "The woman is driving me insane. She's TRYING to break me. She's very odd and I bet she collects human skin to sew dresses in her spare time."

"What?" Meredith asked, and Cristina groaned.

"I'll put it bluntly for your simple mind: she's a bitch."

"Oh," Meredith nodded.

"She was asking about him," Cristina said, rolling her eyes.

"Who?" Meredith asked.

"Are you DAFT? What is with you today? You're acting all…stupid. You can't act stupid right now, because I am venting and when I vent I need you to actually use brain cells and give advice and do the whole friend thing minus the hugging and the hand holding…and whatever," Cristina sighed.

"I'm sorry," Meredith sighed.

"Oh we're going all Meredith show ALREADY? Can't I have the intro?" Cristina groaned.

Meredith's pager went off and Cristina threw her arms up into the air in surrender.

"Look, we'll talk later, I promise," Meredith said softly.

"I'm taking applications for a new person!" Cristina yelled as Meredith zoomed down the hall. She folded her arms across her chest and gave a deep sigh. She didn't want to think about Preston, and yet, there she was leaning into the doorframe wondering if he was alright.

* * *

"Izzie," George called out, picking up his pace to catch up with the lanky blonde.

"I'm busy, George," Izzie scoffed, rolling her eyes.

"You wanted to talk, we're going to talk."

"It's a little late for that; you can't keep doing this to me. You can't push me aside until the time is right for YOU. Do you have any consideration for what I feel or what I think?"

"Don't make this about you…it's always about you!" George said with obvious frustration; he couldn't keep his hands still and he began to pace a bit.

Izzie raised an eyebrow, sensing his frustration and she grabbed his hand, pulling him into a nearby supply closet.

"Let me guess, we're making this about Callie?" Izzie sighed.

"No!" George growled. "Wait…yes...it's…about all of us, okay?"

"You can't pull the US card, George…Callie is just a thorn in my side," Izzie stated, placing a hand on her hip.

George shook his head, "You're making it about you!"

"Don't I have that right? You have strung me along and sent me mixed signals and…I keep coming back, I keep fighting for you!"

"Stop…stop fighting," George said softly. "I'm not fighting for you, Izzie."

Izzie looked away and folded her arms over her chest, "What are you trying to say here, George?"

"This is done, Izzie. It's…over. I can't play the games…or, or….sneak kisses in elevators. I'm married! I'm married and I'm…starting over. I need to honor my vows here…"

"Vows?" Izzie scoffed.

"Stop it," George growled. "She's my wife and yes, it means something to me. You…always talk about love…and commitment and…sticking by people. I'm sticking by Callie, because I do love her…okay? And you said you would deal…so you need to deal!"

"So this is it…you've made your choice?" Izzie asked.

George nodded, "Either you accept it and you stand by me…or I can't…have you as a friend anymore."

Izzie just shook her head and moved to the door, "Goodbye, George," she said after a deep breath. She reached for the knob and slipped out before George's lips could part and his words could escape.

George gave a long sigh and just stared at his shoes. He couldn't understand why it all seemed so easy in his head, and yet as he stood there, his task compete, he felt as if a part of himself had died.


	5. Chapter 5: Someday Never Comes

_**NOTES:** Thank you for all the awesome reviews, you guys make me want ton continue writing this as I get a little paranoid at how my characterizations and dialogue turn out and gah, you guys restore my faith in myself as a writer. _

_This is a HUGE chapter. Some big things begin here but they don't cement situations in stone. Hang in here with me and I promsie desite it being a long, windy, tough, dark and twisty ride, the final destination will be worth it. _

_So please do not gather outside of my house as an angry mob with pitchforks and torches...I will simply throw cupcakes at you and then call the cops. Or...something?_

_GAH, DON'T HURT ME. This works out well in my head and personally I'm pleased with it...so hope you are too! Please review and let me know what you think._

_Dedicated to my amazing BETA/Partner in crime, Danielle. And Hannah who likes long chapters, haha, this is a long chapter for me!_

* * *

Izzie Stevens couldn't point out the exact moment where everything in her life shifted. To say things had changed was an understatement, and she wasn't even sure who she herself was anymore. She slipped deeper into the mound of bubbles & deep steaming water and closed her eyes. The chambers of her heart felt as if they were separating and she was desperately clinging to each piece, trying to force them back together. When was it that she fell so hard for George O'Malley? At one point he was a brother figure, the next he was all she could think of, all she could dream of and her body longed for his touch. She thought back on the way he made her feel that night in her bedroom, the smell of bourbon still thick on his breath, and she knew that was when the switch had been flipped. She was beginning to confuse herself; did she truly love him? She knew she felt _something_…something that she couldn't easily explain.

There she was alone in the dimly lit bathroom, alone. Was this how everything was supposed to be? Was she supposed to spend the rest of her life pining for things she couldn't have? She had a sinking feeling deep in the pit of her stomach; Denny would be so disappointed in her. She knew he would want her to move on, but not like this. Did she force herself to fall for George?

She just wanted answers. Crystal clear, obvious answers but she was struggling to find them in the fog of her mind. She brought her long thin fingers to her temples and began to rub them. She wished she could just rub away the pain, the heartbreak, the frustration…the memories.

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as she stood and grabbed her towel. Her bare, wet feet padded against the tile and she didn't bother to brush her hair as she threw it up in a messy bun and pulled on some oversized pajama bottoms and a form fitting tank top.

Baking always gave her a sense of clarity. For some reason two cups of flour, ten eggs and twenty ounces of semi sweet chocolate chips could give her more answers than a soak in the tub or even someone to chat about it with. She made her way into the kitchen, grabbing a large plastic bowl and setting it on the counter before her. She wasn't even sure what she was baking, it would just come to her and no matter what she made she knew Alex Karev would eat it. She didn't even bake to satisfy a hunger or a sweet tooth; she baked because it was her Prozac and it kept her off of the bathroom floor.

She heard the front door and familiar voices. Meredith and Alex slipped into the kitchen and their expressions changed as soon as they saw her with measuring cups in her hand.

"You're baking," Meredith stated.

"I am," Izzie nodded.

"Anything you need to talk about, Iz?" Alex asked.

"Nope," Izzie stated as she turned to dig through the spice cabinet. "Just baking some...cookies? Cake…Muffins?" She grabbed the chocolate chips and nodded, "Cookies!"

"Izzie," Meredith sighed.

"Mer, I CAN just bake to bake you know," Izzie said, waving her whisk in Meredith's direction.

"Dude, you haven't baked anything just for the sole purpose of baking since Christmas," Alex stated.

"GUYS," Izzie groaned. "I am FINE. I promise, alright? I've just got a bit of a sweet tooth and wanted to make something. I'm also running off of no sleep because I had to do that forty eight hour intern intro shift with Bailey…and coming home at six am today just made me all…out of whack…or something. See, you guys are causing me to try and find ways to justify my baking! It doesn't need to be justified baking, it's plain old want something tasty baking."

"You're sure?" Meredith asked.

"Seriously Meredith! There is nothing wrong with me!"

"Sure, fine, whatever. There's nothing wrong with her." Alex said, "Now make me some cookies."

"Shove it, ass," Izzie said, rolling her eyes. "They'll be done…soonish."

Alex dug through the fridge for a beer and then made his way out of the kitchen.

Meredith pressed her palms against the countertop and stared at Izzie.

"Don't look at me like that," Izzie sighed.

"Derek has a date," Meredith sighed.

"Oh," Izzie sighed. "How do you know?"

"Because Olivia and Debbie made it a point to let me know. I didn't want details; I heard 'date' and took off. That was enough for me," Meredith said, struggling to hold back her emotions.

"They probably misheard or something. I wouldn't look into it too much, Mer."

"I'm not looking into it!" Meredith firmly stated, "It's just…what he said about that girl at the bar being the highlight of his week and….whatever! It's nothing. It's stupid. We're….not even together, we're just coexisting and performing surgeries and…he's dating."

"Mer…I'm sure someone got off on the wrong stop for the gossip train, seriously. After he said he loved you I doubt very highly he'd go out with someone."

"He's probably out with that bar whore…you know she's trying to go for double feature highlight whatever."

Izzie sighed as she dropped spoonfuls of dough onto a cookie sheet and then popped them in the oven. "I still don't believe it, one minute he's all confessing his undying…mclove for you and then he's got a date? It just doesn't seem right. Remember that time you saw him in the trailer with another woman? It ended up being his sister, so don't jump to any conclusions."

"Yes, mommy," Meredith sighed.

Meredith and Izzie finished off the remaining cookie dough chatting about distracting topics and Alex came back into the kitchen as soon as he heard the timer go off on the oven.

"I'm going to bed," Izzie said as she set the cookies on the counter. "Let them cool and then help yourselves."

"What happened to that sweet tooth?" Alex asked.

"I'm over it, no interrogation!" Izzie groaned, as she rinsed out her mixing bowl and set it in the dishwasher, followed by the rest of her supplies.

"Don't leave your beer bottles laying around," Izzie scolded, "and clean up your messes. You guys work at six?"

Alex and Meredith nodded.

"Alright, see you in the morning then," Izzie said as she turned and left the kitchen.

"Something is up with her," Alex stated.

"Seriously," Meredith agreed.

They stood together for a moment and then Meredith grabbed the beer from Alex's hand and set it by the sink, "Beer and cookies don't mix," she stated.

Alex laughed a bit and watched her shift a spatula under the cookies to slide them from the tray and then slide them onto a large plate.

"You get the milk," Meredith said and Alex nodded, grabbing two glasses and pouring them some milk. He followed her into the living room where they plopped down on the couch, the cookies sitting on Meredith's lap. She took her glass of milk from Alex and he reached for the remote.

"_House_?" Alex shrugged.

"Ugh, no doctors," Meredith groaned, scrunching her nose.

"Ah right," Alex nodded. He finally set the channel on TV Land and they sat together watching old television shows over the fresh baked cookies and ice cold milk.

"Life sucks," Meredith said, throwing her head back and sulking.

"Understatement of the century," Alex said before reaching for another cookie Meredith grabbed his hand, which forced him to look at her.

"Do I really push that hard?" Meredith asked.

"If everyone who cares about you were standing on a cliff, ninety five percent of them would have plummeted to their deaths by now," Alex said.

Meredith's eyes shifted and she thought for a moment, letting go of Alex's hand, "But…you're still here?"

"I push back, just as hard. Equal balance," he said through his cookies.

"We're quite the dark and twisty duo," Meredith sighed.

"I found her," Alex sighed, setting down his glass.

Meredith didn't need to ask who he was referring to; it was more than obvious.

"I found her number, she lives down south in Kelso," Alex said. "I didn't call her. I couldn't call her."

Meredith broke the last cookie in half and shoved a piece in her mouth as she handed Alex the other. He accepted the cookie and their faces turned back to the television screen. Meredith had never been too good at the comforting thing, but little did she know that her presence alone was working well enough.

"I can't listen to the sound of her voice," Alex said and Meredith turned to look at him. Alex's eyes didn't shift from the TV. "I keep telling myself I did the right thing. That it's better this way. I can't support her or give her what she needs in life. My schedule now isn't enough to devote to anyone else…I know if I talk to her it will just convince me that I made a big fucking mistake. I can't regret this because she'll have a better life than she ever could with me, even if she doesn't think so herself."

Meredith finished off the rest of her milk and then began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. "Maybe things are better for him now. He doesn't have to be my life support anymore…he doesn't have to breathe for both of us any longer…Here I am, Derek! I'm breathing all by myself now," she sulked.

"He's an idiot."

"He said I was the love of his life, and he's dating."

"Eh, sometimes you don't truly realize everything you need is right there in front of you until it's gone," Alex stated.

Meredith and Alex stared back at the television screen and they sat for a few moments, reflecting on what had been said. Alex finally turned and Meredith's eyes met his. Looking into his eyes was like staring into a mirror: she saw the same broken soul hiding behind thick, thorny walls. For a moment, she saw his walls fall and she felt as if she had conquered something. She leaned forward and kissed his lips softly. Alex didn't pull away, he couldn't, and it was as if he was paralyzed by the feeling of her soft lips against his. Finally he cleared his mind just enough to grab the first thought, to kiss her back. He did so, pressing his lips back a bit hard until Meredith's tongue slid over his lips and he opened his mouth to slide his own tongue against hers. He grabbed her small hips and pulled her up onto his lap as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Alex shifted her frame so that he could grip her and stand and Meredith didn't protest; she simply continued to kiss him and wrapped her legs around his waist in approval as he pulled away from her lips for a moment to make his way up the stairs with her.

* * *

The humid Alabama air filled Preston Burke's lungs as he ran under the moonlight. He had been running alongside a creek that emptied into a lake near his parents' property for what seemed like hours. Running always cleared his head, his body pumping with adrenaline and his lungs feeling as if they were going to burst. He finally stopped when he found himself at the lake again and he pushed his palms into his knees, bending over to catch his breath.

The moon was full and bright, causing the trees to cast shadows on the rippled water of the lake. He looked up at the sky and the stars seemed to stand out against the net of darkness surrounding them. He never stopped to look at the stars in Seattle, but since he had returned home to Alabama, he found himself engrossed in them.

He found himself wondering if Cristina ever stopped and stared at them too. She was never the type to stargaze, and yet neither was he…but there he stood, watching their reflection in the tiny waves of the lake.

He couldn't get her out of his head, and yet he wasn't sure he wanted to either. There were no words to describe just how regal and beautiful she looked in her wedding gown, the vision of her standing before him like a queen wasn't one he wanted to soon forget. She looked like a doll, the picture of porcelain perfect with her painted face and pale skin. She wasn't a doll though, he couldn't just pull the clothes from the wardrobe and dress her and mold her as he wished. He couldn't pose her and stand her next to him; he couldn't force her to go where she didn't want to. She could speak up and voice her demands but instead she closed herself off to appease him. She made herself his doll, and he regretted allowing her to do so.

He reached into the pocket of his sweats and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped it open and highlighted _Yang, Cristina_.

"_This is Doctor Cristina Yang and I am unavailable to answer your call. I am probably in a surgery, saving a human life. If this call is even remotely close enough in importance, leave a message_."

He grinned over her message and the sound of her voice. He heard the voice mail tone and he took a deep breath. There were so many things he wanted to say, but now was not the time. He closed his phone and exhaled, sliding it back into his pocket.

He took another look at the stars as he stretched, and then before he could even think about it, his legs began a quick pace and he was running again.

* * *

Derek Shepherd slightly regretted choosing the Emerald City Bar as his date spot. The smoky atmosphere, the clink of beer glasses, the buzz of voices and the smell of booze thick on the air as he inhaled. Meredith, it always made him think of Meredith. He remembered the drunken hook up that lead them through a winding road of anguish, heartbreak and ultimately, love. He felt as if he were taking a cue from Preston Burke, letting her go….the ultimate sacrifice of love. He wasn't fighting against her sudden revelation that it was over. He did worry, he worried that she wouldn't be able to catch her breath and she'd give up again, that she'd stop breathing and he wouldn't be there to save her. He tried to justify his actions in his mind; it had to be like this. It HAD to and there was no arguing it. They needed to be away from each other, and Derek didn't want to admit to himself that Lexie was just a temporary fix to fill the void.

He heard the bells at the door and turned to see Lexie coming towards him, "Hey," she smiled.

Derek pushed Meredith from his mind and gave a grin, "Hey there," he said.

Lexie sat down next to him and Derek motioned Joe over, "What do you drink?" Derek asked Lexie.

"I'll take a mojito," Lexie smiled and Joe nodded.

"So, you successfully braved your first forty eight hours as an intern," Derek said.

"That I did," Lexie laughed. "And no one died on my watch-- score!"

"I'll drink to that," Derek smiled as Joe set down Lexie's drink before her. Lexie nodded and took a sip and Derek took a gulp of his scotch.

"So tell me about yourself, Doctor Shepherd," Lexie grinned.

"Well, I am an insanely attractive neurosurgeon, slightly full of myself, I like good scotch and fly fishing."

"Oh, that's all I get? Got some crazy skeletons in your closet? Tell me more about your career or something."

"Eh, I don't want to talk about my career," Derek groaned. "Tell me something about yourself."

"Well, my full name is Alexis Grey but Lexie has been my nickname since I was a baby, so it's stuck…"

"Grey?" Derek asked. Was he seriously going to be tortured by reminders of Meredith all night?

"No, I have no relation to THE Ellis Grey," Lexie sighed.

"That's a relief," Derek muttered.

"What was that?" Lexie asked.

"Oh, nothing…so, all I get is your full name? How about your skeletons, what is your family like?"

"Family is the last thing I want to talk about right now," Lexie groaned. "What about yours?"

"I always save that for a few dates in," Derek nodded.

"Feeling confident, are we?" Lexie laughed.

"Full of myself, remember?"

"Alright, here's the big question…what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?" Lexie asked.

Derek paused and felt as if his life was going in slow motion. Her voice reminded him of Meredith and the sparkle in her eyes brought back memories of them outside of his trailer one starry night when he spilled the minor details of his life. Could he relate everything to Meredith Grey? He was beginning to think so and he quickly ordered another drink. Perhaps he could drown his thoughts with alcohol. He was a neurosurgeon; he had the power to make people forget, the ability to free a patient's mind from a physical burden, but he was unable to free his own mind of Meredith, as if she were infused in his blood.

"Tough question?" Lexie giggled.

Derek snapped out of it and smiled, "Oh uh, yes….I'd have to say coffee," Derek nodded.

"I'm a strawberry girl myself," Lexie said as she finished off her drink.

"Make that a double," Derek quickly said to Joe.

A few drinks later and images of Meredith still plagued Derek's mind. Even the liquor he consumed failed to blur the edges of the pictures of Meredith in his head, Lexie's warm smile and gleaming eyes continued to morph into Meredith's and Derek desperately shook the image from his head.

He leaned into Lexie and whispered, "Let's get out of here."

Lexie finished off her drink and nodded, "Alright."

"I've got it," Derek said, reaching into his wallet and handing Joe a few bills.

The cool night air nipped at their skin and Lexie stared up at the sky, "Smells like rain," she said softly.

"Where to?" Derek asked.

"Uh…If it's not too forward my place isn't too far from here," Lexie stated. "I could fix us a late dinner?"

"I like forward," Derek grinned and Lexie smiled back. They decided on taking Lexie's car and made their way to her apartment.

Lexie unlocked the door and kicked some small boxes out of the way in the front hall.

"Just move in?" Derek asked.

"Actually, I'm getting ready to move back in with my father. I JUST got this place but…he needs me…"

"Ah," Derek nodded, "But you won't talk about it?"

"Nope," Lexie said. "Make yourself at home, there's not much home left but…" she laughed.

"Thanks," Derek said.

Lexie set down her purse and made her way to the small kitchen. The apartment was tiny, with one small bedroom, a bathroom and a cramped living room.

Derek surveyed the blank walls and boxes and then found himself in the kitchen with Lexie.

"What do you feel like?" Lexie asked. Derek didn't say anything; he just looked into her eyes for a moment before his own eyes shifted to her lips. She shivered a bit as his hand grazed her arm and he leaned into her. Finally, his lips met hers and he pulled her close. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her small frame up onto the counter. Her hands moved to his jaw bone and she held his face, kissing him back, hard.


	6. Chapter 6: Losing Heart

**NOTES:** _Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews. You guys are a lot more supportive than I give you credit, right on, lol. As I said, there are going to be bumps but everntually there will be a smooth ride. I thought it was crucial for Meredith especially to have this happen so that she could see what exactly it was that she was losing and how she honestly cannot function without Derek, and it can be applied vice versa as well. _

_In defense of Lexie...I'm not making her the bad guy. Everyone seems to loathe her and it baffles me. She had TWO scenes and it's not like she KNOWS Derek is with Meredith. Its not like she sat there and said, look at this man with the fantastic hair and the nice eyes, I bet he is seeing my half sister who I don't even know, let me step forward and try to get into his pants. So, no Lexie hating here. I've seen it too much and I'm not going there. She's not the bad guy for flirting with Derek, she doesn't know his backstory. So thank you to the handful of people who praised me for not making her the "evil barwhore". _

_The next three chapters will have big things happening, and someone we know and love will be making a return. Not spilling, though I'm sure you all will guess easily, lol. _

_With that, hope this chapter helps some of you guys recover from the last one!_

* * *

The smell of aftershave hit Meredith the moment she woke up. She laid still for a moment, breathing in the scent. It was not Derek's. She shifted in bed, pausing when she heard a groan to her left. 

"Fuck, what time is it?" Alex Karev asked, obviously still half asleep.

"Five," Meredith answered, remembering the events of the night before. For once she had woken up in bed with someone who didn't wind up there due to drinking. She wasn't sure if she should feel proud of herself or disappointed, seeing as this time she had no good excuses.

"Shit," Alex growled. Meredith simply sat up, pulling the comforter and tucking it under her arms.

Meredith rarely woke up before the alarm but when it began beeping wildly to her right she turned it off in a fluid motion before turning to look at Alex.

"We didn't drink last night," she stated.

"No, we didn't," Alex agreed.

Alex and Meredith jumped a bit when they heard the slam of Izzie's bedroom door. They heard her pad down the hallway, banging on Alex's door. When no one answered she had a bitch fit and stomped back down the hall to Meredith's room.

"Meredith, where is Alex?" Izzie sighed and Alex took that as his cue to run towards the bathroom and turn on the water.

"He's using my bathroom so that you could get in the main one without complaining this morning," Meredith sighed.

"Oh," Izzie nodded. "He told me yesterday at work that his alarm clock was busted and begged me to wake him up today… did you get him up?" Izzie asked through the door.

"Uh, yeah…I did…"

"Alright well, hurry up if you want breakfast!" Izzie exclaimed before running downstairs.

Alex emerged a short while later with a towel around his waist and a distant expression on his face. He was thinking but Meredith wasn't even going to try and pinpoint what exactly he was thinking about.

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Alex finally shrugged.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Us, sleeping together. You don't have to…justify it or anything. Things happen," Alex said.

"Oh, yeah…" Meredith nodded. "I didn't do the drunk and inappropriate thing this time though."

Alex just nodded, "You shouldn't give me that much credit," he said before he slipped out of her bedroom.

Meredith got herself together and dug through the pile of clean clothes spilling from the laundry basket in the corner of her room. She had yet to find time to fold them and dug through hoping to find something that wasn't wrinkled beyond repair. She settled on a lavender Henley and some dark wash jeans and let her hair fall about her shoulders.

"What is with you two this morning?" Izzie asked as she licked pancake batter from her fingers.

"We can still ask what was with you last night…and this morning…" Alex pointed out, motioning to the basket of muffins before him.

"So anyone get any good surgeries?" Izzie asked, changing the subject.

"Nice save," Meredith laughed.

"I try," Izzie grinned.

"I'm a resident now and I haven't seen the inside of an OR yet…I'm pissed," Alex muttered through his muffin.

"I got to babysit interns with Bailey," Izzie sighed.

"Did you…talk to any of them?" Meredith asked, her eyes shifting to her hands that traced the edge of her placemat.

"She's nice, Meredith. She's nice, very smart, she talks with her hands…just like you and she's pretty clumsy but she'll make a good surgeon. She listens well and doesn't backtalk. I…couldn't stop thinking about how alike you both are…"

Meredith shook her head, "We're not. She's just any other intern."

"Mer…" Izzie sighed.

Meredith just picked at the smorgasbord of food on the plate Izzie set before her and shook her head again, "Just pretend I didn't ask."

Alex gave Izzie a look before she could open her mouth to speak again and she simply shrugged, "It's weird being able to boss George around."

Alex smirked, "That's pretty damn funny."

"Alex," Meredith scolded. "We have to show our support…and whatever. Do the friend thing and let him sit at our table even if he had to do seventeen rectals."

Izzie groaned, "Yeah, we all know what table he sits at. Can't let go of the wifey's hand you know..." Izzie said, her voice laced with contempt. She paused and then shook it off, "Oh look at the time! We'd better go, come on guys." Izzie grabbed a muffin from Alex's hands and stuffed it back in the basket.

* * *

"You're doing that thing…" Cristina said, turning to Meredith. 

"What thing?" Meredith sighed.

"The thing where you look disturbed, and mopey but you think you're convincing people that you're not but you do a really shit job at it. You're like…dark and twisty Meredith on steroids today," Cristina stated.

"I am not," Meredith sulked.

"I have to scrub in with Erika _Lecter_…are you going to be okay? Do I need to have someone person sit you? Please keep away from all bodies of water and don't stick your hand in any bomb-made body cavities," Cristina ordered before she turned to walk off.

_Bodies of water? Gee thanks, Cristina_ Meredith thought to herself.

Meredith took a deep breath; she obviously had to find Derek as he was assisting her in putting a shunt in a young man's brain in less than an hour.

Meredith stumbled through the hospital, lost in the daze of her own thoughts when she spied Derek by one of the nurse's stations, going over a chart. It was hard to stay set in stone over her decision to end it when he was leaning against the station, smiling and grinning through his conversation with nurse Debbie. It was that signature smile that she couldn't resist, the smile she found it ridiculously hard to turn down. She rolled her eyes and sighed; she made the choice and she was forced to live with it. It didn't help that she felt pretty guilty about the night before either.

Her feet began moving before her mind could but she stopped when Lexie made her way over to Derek, playfully touching his arm and giving him a million dollar smile.

"Last night was great; I'm thinking we could have a repeat?" Lexie grinned.

_Please let her be talking about surgery, please let her be talking about surgery_, Meredith thought as her knuckles went white from clenching her fists so tightly. Her heart began to beat faster and she could hear every _thump, thump_ loudly in her ears. She watched Lexie's fingertips graze Derek's lab coat and trace his wrists as she felt all the color drain from her cheeks.

"I'll have my apartment until the end of the week if you'd like to come over again..." Lexie suggested.

Meredith felt sick, she felt her breakfast collecting at the back of her throat and wanted nothing more than to expel the contents of her stomach.

It had to be some sort of cruel joke, maybe she was completely misunderstanding them, but as she watched Lexie stare at Derek in total adoration, she was sure she had heard everything just right.

"How could you?" Meredith blurted out as she made her way over. She couldn't control herself, the words slipped out just as fast as her legs had carried her over.

"Meredith…" Derek's winning smile quickly faded from his face as his piercing eyes soaked in Meredith's broken expression, "I…"

"You told me I was the love of your life and yet you're so quick to move on…with…with my sister?"

Derek looked at Lexie in complete shock as Meredith dug her nails into her palms to keep herself from lashing out physically.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek gasped, and shock overcame Lexie's face as well.

"I…I…had no idea you two were involved, I…didn't think it was important…" Lexie managed to push out.

"Meredith, I had no idea she was your sister!" Derek exclaimed.

"Would that have even stopped you?" Meredith asked, emotion overwhelming her words.

"I'm so sorry, Meredith. I didn't know. I would have never approached him had I have known I sw-"

Before Lexie could finish her words, months of pent up frustration, emotions and anguish charged through Meredith's hand is it struck Lexie's smooth pale skin. Lexie's hand moved quickly to the sensitive flesh, horrified that Meredith had actually struck her. Meredith couldn't even find the words to speak; instead she turned and started down the hall.

"Meredith!" Derek called out and Meredith turned for a moment, fire burning before her blue eyes.

"Don't you dare speak to me, Derek Shepherd," she growled, before turning and storming off down the hall.

* * *

"Doctor Grey," Richard Webber said, looking up from his paper and raising an eyebrow. 

"I need a personal day," Meredith stated.

"May I ask why?" Richard questioned, removing his eyeglasses.

Meredith pressed her palms into his desk, "No."

"I understand you have been through a large amount of trauma recently, Meredith, but I cannot just let you go when you've got a solid block of surgeries scheduled," Richard said as he watched Meredith's eyes well with tears.

"I don't want to beg," Meredith managed to squeeze out. Richard watched her tremble before him and he sighed; he had promised Ellis that he would look out for her and he knew that if he forced her to stay at the hospital any longer that day that she would break.

"Fine," Richard gave in, "But this cannot be a regular occurrence."

Meredith nodded and quickly left the room.

"What was that about?" Miranda Bailey asked as she entered the room just after she watched Meredith storm out.

"Grey is taking a personal day," Richard answered.

"Does this have anything to do with her slapping one of my interns?" Bailey asked.

"What?" Richard asked.

"You didn't even bother to ask her why she wanted to leave so badly?" Bailey asked.

"I did and she refused to answer," Richard shrugged.

Bailey sighed, "Look, your personal preference to Grey is painfully obvious, and since it's so painfully obvious, you need to pull some strings for ME."

"I don't see how these things come together," Richard pointed out.

"O'Malley. You let Grey take the test again," Bailey said.

"That is because Grey did not answer anything on her sheet and retook the test within the same day. George O'Malley clearly failed despite the allotted amount of time he had to study and get his act together," Richard stated.

"George O'Malley has been through his own traumas. Have you forgotten that he lost his father?"

"Miranda…"

"No. You don't get to Miranda me, Richard Webber. I like Meredith Grey, I truly do but as I said before, your favoritism is obvious! So if you get to play favorites, I get to play favorites. You owe this to me," Bailey growled.

"Owe this?" Richard asked.

"I lived, breathed, dreamed and slept Chief Resident; I wanted it so bad I could taste it and I thought I more than deserved the title. Hell, you basically sat there and told me I was a shoe in and then I read the board and….Callie. You gave it to Torres. What did I do? Did I fail you somehow? Did I disappoint you?"

"Miranda, if you do not understand why you were not chosen than obviously it WAS a good decision on my behalf and maybe by the end of this year, you will understand why exactly I did it."

"Don't be cryptic; I'm not going to sift through all your words for answers. I'm a blunt woman so you can give me some damn respect and be blunt yourself."

Richard took a deep breath and stood, staring out of the window, "You were becoming the mirror image of me. Your entire life was, and is, this hospital. You reached out to the patients and embraced them like family. Your work ethic is amazing and you are a highly skilled surgeon. But there is life beyond this hospital. Your son, your husband, they need you to save them just as much as any car crash victim or crazy teenager. I don't want to know that you ended up miserable in your personal life because you couldn't step away from Seattle Grace. You're going to argue this, I know. You'll say that you know your place here and at home or that I'm "mommy tracking" you but deep inside, you know I am right."

"Find some way to get George O'Malley a second try at that test," was all Miranda Bailey could force from her lips.

Richard just nodded and looked out the window again, "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

"Meredith," Izzie sighed, many hours later outside of the bathroom door at Meredith's house, "Please, just let me in." 

"Meredith, come on…" Alex sighed. "You can't stay in there all night."

Meredith could argue, Meredith could yell and scream or throw things, but instead she sat balled up in the corner of the bathroom, hugging her knees and trying her hardest not to think about Derek Shepherd. She was failing miserably.

"She's the one who got me out of the bathroom and now I feel like I'm a total failure as a friend for not being able to do the same," Izzie sighed.

"Izzie," Alex sighed.

"She can't stay in there forever!" Izzie yelled.

Alex stepped back until his heels hit the wall across from the bathroom and then lunged at the door. Meredith jumped at the sound of his body hitting the thick wood and she rolled her eyes over his abundance of testosterone and the-guy-on-the-white-horse approach to getting her out.

She heard his heels hit the wall and groaned as she stood, opening the door before he could run at it again.

"Please don't break my door," she sighed.

"Come on," Alex sighed, slipping his arm around her waist and guiding her to her bedroom. Izzie followed and Alex turned back and looked to her.

"Can you get her something to drink?" Alex asked and Izzie nodded.

"I'm fine," Meredith sulked.

"Don't even start, alright?" Alex growled. "You're not fine and you do a crappy job of pretending like you are. So, just stop."

Meredith folded her arms over her chest and then threw herself back on her bed.

"When you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen," Alex stated.

"I have nothing to talk about," Meredith said.

"You're a crappy liar too," Alex said, sitting on the bed.

"How can he go one minute to saying he's madly in love with me and then the next…he's…doing whatever…with my sister!"

"Same reason you were in bed with me last night," Alex shrugged.

"No it's not!" Meredith shrieked, sitting up and glaring at Alex.

They heard the front door slam followed by footsteps up the stairs and Meredith's door flying open. Cristina slipped in, followed by Callie.

"I brought…reinforcements to pry her out of the bathroom and she's in here?"

"Alex tried to break down the bathroom door so I decided to get out," Meredith sighed.

"Good job, evil spawn. Now you can leave…thank you for your time, no penis allowed," Cristina said, shooing Alex off with her hands.

"I'd…like him to stay," Meredith said softly, reaching out and grabbing his wrist.

"What?" Cristina asked. She first stared at Meredith's guilty face and then to Alex's. She looked back and forth a few times and then gasped.

"Oh Meredith, you DID NOT," Cristina groaned.

Meredith's eyes shifted to her feet.

"Oh….OH. You're a pot, you're a total pot and Derek is so the kettle," Cristina growled.

"You know what Mer? I should go…I'll uh, help Izzie in the kitchen or something," Alex said, leaving the room before Meredith could protest.

"Why aren't you getting all defensive? Why aren't you all duh, huh? What did I doooo?" Cristina asked. "Oh…you did, you seriously did and you know you got caught so you're gonna sit there with that guilty look on your face."

Cristina turned to Callie and threw her hands up, "She slept with Alex," she stated.

"CRISTINA!" Meredith gasped.

"I should go…since you're alright and all," Callie stated, backing her way towards the door.

"Park it, Torres," Cristina ordered, pointing to the bed.

Callie sighed and sat down, despite the confused look on her face.

"You were in my wedding that wasn't and you're prime candidate for a new person," Cristina stated. Callie turned to Meredith for answers.

"You're a friend," Meredith stated. Callie raised an eyebrow.

"Meredith…you went beyond inappropriate this time, this is like….inappropriate squared. It's disturbing. I know that alcohol and men are your Prozac or whatever but-"

"We didn't drink," Meredith stated.

"Oh, that makes this WORSE," Cristina sighed. "You have no excuse now, it was just…stupid, and you weren't intoxicated…wow!"

Meredith sighed, "I…" She struggled to keep her composure before she began to cry.

Callie wrapped an arm around Meredith instinctively and hugged her. "I am...slightly out of the loop here, but...you've got enough on your plate and I totally get that. You should just do for Meredith for a while...no Dereks or random comes-out-of-nowhere sisters or attractive roommates...just Meredith, okay? Just do your thing...with the brains and the surgery...thing. "

Meredith sniffled a bit and looked at Cristina, who was raising an eyebrow at Callie.

"Yeah...you tried, you can stay," Cristina nodded.

Callie shook her head and laughed a bit at Cristina. Meredith shook her head, trying to make the pain subside with Callie's words but it all seemed so hopeless.

"Mer, don't cry. Nothing is worth crying over," Cristina sighed, struggling to convince herself.

* * *

"Why is Callie in there but not us?" Izzie groaned as she stirred the pitcher of lemonade sitting before her. 

Alex shrugged, "Mer's out of the bathroom, and she's talking, that's all I care about."

"But…Callie isn't one of us…she's like…far from one of us."

"Your beef with Torres…I still don't get it. Personally, I think she's pretty cool."

"Whatever," Izzie groaned.

Alex rolled his eyes, "You still huffy because George doesn't spend time with you anymore? He's married. Married guys don't hang out with chicks, he's all…ball and chain now. You have to get over it."

"Yes, because you're an expert on monogamous relationships, Alex Karev," Izzie shot back.

"I'm not going to sit here and deal with this shit right now," Alex sighed. "I've got more important things to worry about."

"Meredith? Since when did you become friend of the year?" Izzie asked.

"Alright, enough! What the hell is up with you? Don't say 'nothing'; none of us are as stupid as you like to make us out to be. Enough with the baking, the sulking, the lashing out at anyone and everyone at the most inappropriate times. Something is bugging the shit out of you and the more you bottle it up the worse it's going to get. Spill, Iz, because this is getting old quick."

She continued to stir the lemonade in a steady motion until Alex's hand rested atop hers and she shifted her eyes to look at him, "You'll judge me."

"Who am I to judge anyone?" Alex asked. "I'm not perfect."

"Yeah but..."

He realized the only way to get her to speak out about what was going on in her head was to admit what he himself had done, "I slept with Meredith."

Izzie words had already begun to slide from her tongue as he finished his statement, "I slept with George."

An awkward moment of silence passed until they turned to stare at each other in disbelief, "What?" they both gasped.

"Iz...you didn't," Alex sighed.

"I didn't? What about YOU?" Izzie gasped.

"Meredith isn't married!" Alex exclaimed.

"Yeah well George's marriage was just one big mistake anyway," Izzie scoffed.

"There is no excuse!" Alex exclaimed. "You and George...what the fuck? Where did that come from? How is it you gave me no chance but you jump in bed with O'Malley?"

"You wouldn't understand! You have no right to judge me...you slept with Meredith!"

"And Callie has no clue, does she?" Alex asked.

Izzie rolled her eyes and Alex shook his head at her, "You're sick in the head," he said before turning and heading upstairs. Izzie sighed; he judged her. She knew he would and yet she still told him. He was angry and upset and yet she couldn't turn it around against him because he had a slight point. Sleeping with Meredith was bad, but not anywhere near as bad as she and George.

She poured herself a glass of lemonade and leaned back against the refrigerator. She never could have imagined a year ago that George O'Malley would be the cause of her woes.

* * *

"They...embraced me. It was odd...but strangely comforting. Meredith Grey was crying on my shoulder and Cristina Yang was singing my praises...well, in a Yang sort of way," Callie exclaimed. George was removing his shoes and jacket, trying hard to pay attention. His mind began to wander to who else might have been at Meredith's house in the warped comfort circle that had been created. 

"Was...Izzie there?" George asked.

Callie's smile drained from her face for a moment and she took a deep breath, "She was...in the kitchen or something," she shrugged.

"Oh, it's just...you know she's emotional and gets too involved..." George sighed.

"I wasn't focused on Izzie Stevens, my concern was on Meredith. Izzie seemed fine," Callie stated.

"Oh, okay..." George nodded, "How is Mer?"

"Miserable," Callie sighed. "She's just...fragile. Like at any moment she's just going to break."

George gave another nod and Callie slipped into bed. George stood by the window and pulled back the curtains to stare out at the city lights for a moment.

"I love you," he said, turning to stare at Callie as her midnight curls swallowed the pillow and surrounded her.

"I...love you too," she replied before turning over onto her side.


	7. Chapter 7: Set Fire to the Third Bar

_Okay **Precious Things** has sucked me in and distracted me from all my other fics, lol. So I'm going back and updating everything else. Hope you guys enjoy!_

* * *

Izzie sighed as she hung up her phone. Cristina had called her in a panic, and if Cristina Yang called you in a panic, it meant something was definitely wrong. Meredith had the day off but was refusing to leave her bed. Fortunately, Cristina didn't have to be in until late afternoon for a night shift so she could stick around and make sure Meredith didn't do anything stupid. The worry in Cristina's voice made Izzie uncomfortable; Meredith's mental stability had been in question since she nearly died, but everything had seemed fine until that moment. Even the night before Meredith was talking and seemingly okay, but the struggle for slumber caused her mind to wander and the thoughts obviously weren't good.

Izzie began to think of a solution and Lexie was the first person to come to mind. She knew that Lexie was the last person that Meredith wanted to see (aside from Derek) but Izzie knew, of all people, that hiding from a problem only made it worse.

Izzie went in search of Bailey, hoping she could use the old 'I need an intern' trick to get to talk to Lexie. Though being a general surgery resident and Bailey's assistant of sorts made things difficult. Luckily, Bailey was doing a bowel obstruction with two of her other interns and Izzie could take a surgery scheduled at the same time if she felt comfortable. Though the surgery was on a patient that also needed Neuro work, she took the opportunity and hoped Lexie and Derek would put their personal issues aside.

Izzie found Bailey emerging from her patient's room and stepped in front of her. "I'll do that 3:25 surgery," Izzie nodded.

"Good," Bailey smiled. "You'll be working with Doctor Shepherd; your patient is in room 405. You need to help me on rounds first."

"I'll need some interns," Izzie said. "Is Grey available?"

Bailey raised an eyebrow and Izzie gulped: Bailey was no idiot. "You take Grey you get O'Malley too. Package deal, they're a team today."

"O'Malley?" Izzie sighed.

"Oh, because he didn't advance to second year with you he isn't good enough for your surgery? Are you forgetting he performed heart surgery in an elevator? Ya'll move up and leave everyone in your dust. Someone needs to deflate your ego, Isobel Stevens."

"No! No! I have no problem with George; it's just I only needed one intern and-"

"Now you have two interns. Now come with me on rounds," Bailey ordered. Izzie nodded and followed Bailey down to her waiting group of 'suck ups.'

"Grey and O'Malley, you'll be working with Doctor Stevens today..."

George's eyes shifted up from his shoes as Bailey continued speaking to the rest of the interns. He looked first at Lexie and then over to Izzie. Izzie turned away as soon as she noticed George watching her and the entire group made their way around the hospital checking on surgical patients.

"If you need me, page me. I can have Doctor Samuels take over for me," Bailey said, turning to Izzie.

"I'll have Doctor Shepherd and George and Lexie, I think I can do this!" Izzie smiled. Bailey gave a nod and patted Izzie on the shoulder.

"Wow, her heart isn't made of ice," one of the interns laughed and Bailey turned around and glared at the whole group.

"Ya'll think I don't know everything you say and do? Michelson, you're on scut."

Dana Michelson groaned and Bailey glared at her. "I'm sorry, did you have something else to add?"

Dana shook her head and started down the hall.

---------------------------------

"I will pull you out of this bed if I have to," Cristina groaned, plopping on the foot of Meredith's bed with a granola bar in her hand.

Meredith didn't respond and Cristina rolled her eyes, chucking the granola bar at Meredith. Meredith just grunted and pulled her comforter up over her head.

"I never thought I would say that I miss bright and shiny, Meredith. So please, stop with the dark, damaged, scary & twisty Mer act and get out of this bed. I WILL pull you out of it. I have a good ten pounds on you," Cristina growled.

Meredith didn't even respond, she didn't peek out from under the comforter and Cristina had to place her hand on her to double check that she was even breathing.

"Meredith, I will suffocate you if you don't speak to me," Cristina stated.

Meredith didn't move.

"I'm grabbing a pillow," Cristina said, "I'm moving closer...I'm going to do it...with no remorse!"

Meredith still had no reaction to Cristina and Cristina growled, throwing her hands up in surrender.

"It's already old, Meredith. Burke left me at the altar and I went along with my life. I went along with my life because I didn't want you to feel sorry for me. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me, and I especially didn't want to feel sorry for myself. The point is, the man I have been faithfully standing by all this time left me behind and I shed my tears and moved on, or at least I'm doing a damn good job pretending I've moved on. So you have no right whatsoever to sit here sulking in this bed when you broke things off with Derek," Cristina said, her voice wavy as she fought back emotion. "Meredith Grey, I have kept my composure, I have struggled through this because you've been there. You cut me from my dress, you helped me with my newfound liberation and now you're not doing your job. You're not being my person and you're not letting me be yours!"

Meredith slowly pulled the comforter from over her head and stared blankly at Cristina.

"Are you..."

"Crying? No," Cristina lied, wiping at her eyes.

Meredith sat up and wrapped her arms around Cristina, and soon enough Meredith was crying into her shoulder. Cristina's few tears were quickly stopped by the sound of Meredith sobbing.

Derek stood in front of the scheduled surgery board, his arms folded over his chest as he exhaled. His eyes scanned the perfect grid and perfectly legible handwriting.

"Lexie Grey, eh?" He heard to his right. He caught a glimpse of Mark Sloan from the corner of his eye and took a deep breath.

"Hear anything from Addison?" He retorted.

A moment of silence was followed by Mark muttering, "Ouch."

"I had a feeling," Derek sighed. "Everything she did reminded me of Meredith, her mannerisms, even the way she laughs...like Meredith and I continued to think it was all in my head. Truth be told I have no clue why I slept with her. "

"I'm handing over my manwhore crown," Mark stated. Derek turned and glared at him. "Well, you're not an intentional manwhore at least. I mean, to her you're the filthiest of manwhores at the moment but you're not...never mind."

"I don't know what to do," Derek sighed.

"At this point, there is little you can do except wait for her to let the level of loathing drop a little, when she's ready to talk...talk and don't stop talking. If you love her, don't shut your mouth until she gets what you are saying."

Derek pursed his lips in thought and remembered a summer long ago when he and Mark built a homemade tree house in Mark's sprawling backyard. Derek fell from the tree and snapped his arm and Mark sat with him, talking him through the pain. Mark, despite his setbacks, could talk Derek through anything. He had the uncanny ability since childhood and Derek's fingertips grazed his elbow that had once throbbed in pain on a warm spring morning.

"Addison will come back," Derek stated. "You know her, she needs her space, a life changing experience and then she comes back..."

"Except this time I won't be waiting around for her," Mark responded.

"Oh?"

"It's in my best interest to let go and move on..." Mark nodded.

Izzie made her way over, followed by Lexie and George.

"Doctor Shepherd, I'll be assisting you and doing the SKP transplant for Adam Tansey," Izzie said. Mark's eyes shifted from the board to take in Izzie Stevens, standing tall with her hands clasped behind her back.

Derek turned as well, giving a nod. Izzie watched his eyes move to Lexie, whose own eyes shifted to the linoleum.

"O'Malley and Grey are my interns for the day," Izzie nodded.

Derek gave another slow nod. "Alright," he managed to push out.

Izzie locked eyes with Mark for a moment and she couldn't pinpoint the look in his eyes. It wasn't his normal suggestive glance and flirty eyes. It was as if he were looking into her core and seeing her for something more than everyone else. Izzie shifted uncomfortably and Mark turned himself, resting a palm on Derek's shoulder.

"I'm here if you need me," he said before adjusting his scrub cap and heading off to surgery.

Derek watched Mark head down the hall and then turned back to Izzie, "Make sure our OR is prepped and ready," he said.

Izzie nodded and Derek excused himself.

"Go help prep the OR," Izzie ordered, her eyes never meeting George's. "I'll go check our patient again."

"Izzie," George sighed.

"Don't, George," she growled.

"I...I'll go check out the OR," Lexie sighed, pointing to her destination.

"Thank you, Doctor Grey," Izzie spit out, nearly choking over the awkwardness of Lexie's name.

George remained behind, watching a pained expression sprawl over Izzie's face.

"George, I am your boss. Can you please listen to me?" Izzie sighed.

"I can't do this," George groaned. "I can't have you hate me if we have to work together."

"What?" Izzie growled. "You should have thought of that before you told me off."

"You should have thought of that before you confessed your undying love for me!" George snapped back, rather loudly. Izzie's cheeks flushed with red as she roughly grabbed George by the arm and dragged him off towards the locker room. George didn't know what hit him as he replayed what he said over and over again in his head. Anyone could have heard his outburst and run to Callie. Luckily it seemed as if no one had even heard them.

Izzie spun around, her eyes burning a hole into George.

"Don't you start taking your shit out on me, George O'Malley! At least I can be honest with myself. You're following Callie around like a pathetic little puppy. It's not my fault you're miserable; you dug your own grave, now lie in it!"

"Wha...what?" George forced out, digging his nails into his palms as his hands formed fists.

"I cannot change the fact that I love you! I can't just wake up tomorrow morning and say 'I don't love George' and expect the feelings to go away. I'm not going to pretend nothing is going on just to protect poor Callie. I'm tired of this! I feel selfish and I'm even worrying about this right now when Meredith needs us, but no, you can't make up your mind...like always! It's Callie or it's me, George, and you need to stick with it!"

"Izzie! You're the one who won't even...look at me! You act like I'm...scum at the bottom of your shoe...and...don't I deserve more than that?"

"No," Izzie muttered.

"I said I'm going to stick by Callie..."

"Then stick by Callie and leave me alone!" Izzie cried.

"I don't want to lose you," George said, reaching out to touch Izzie's face. Izzie moved away as a flood of tears escaped from her eyes.

"Don't touch me," she sobbed.

"You are my best friend," George sighed.

"Correction," Izzie stated, struggling to regain composure. "I was your best friend, long before Callie, I was the one."

George's eyes lowered to the floor and he took a deep breath,. "I just wish we could go back to the way things were before we...we...had sex."

Izzie and George paused as they heard a locker slam.

Callie Torres-O'Malley could not believe everything she had just heard. Her heart beat so fast that she felt as if it were going to explode in her chest. She refused to let any tears fall, not there. She wasn't going to look weak. She wasn't going to look like her heart was shattering into a million pieces and her world was falling down around her.

She stood, reminding herself to breathe before walking around a row of lockers to find George and Izzie standing like deer caught in headlights.

"You don't have to force sticking by me," Callie firmly stated. "There's nothing left to stick by."

"Callie!" George gasped.

Callie shook her head before turning and walking towards the door.

"Callie, it's not what you think! I swear...I can explain...let me explain...you're my wife! I...I...love you!"

Callie's pace quickened as soon as she exited the locker room, George following behind her.

Callie walked fast and avoided every touch George tried to place on her tense body. She found herself at the attending lounge and slipped in, locking the door behind her.

"You look like you just caught your husband in an awkward position..." Mark Sloan stated.

Callie's body slid to the floor. "Why are you in here?" she sighed.

"My surgery got pushed back for Erika Hahn...and if you didn't notice...it says 'attending lounge' on the door."

"Fuck you," Callie growled.

"Who spit in your coffee?" Mark asked.

"I just caught my husband in an awkward position," Callie sighed.

"Now isn't a good time to gloat about how I'm always right then, I'm guessing?"

"I heard him talking to Izzie Stevens in the locker room about how they...had sex," Callie gagged, nearly vomiting as the words slid off her tongue.

Mark couldn't help but laugh. "How the hell did George O'Malley manage to score you AND Stevens...even I haven't slept with Stevens..."

Callie rolled her eyes. "Why am I even talking to you?"

"Because there's no one else."

"Ugh," Callie groaned.

Mark patted the chair to his right. "Sit down, I'll be nice."

Callie took a deep breath and stood, moving over to sit down next to Mark.

"Do you...need to cry or anything?"

"I'm not going to let myself cry over him." Callie sighed.

Rage, heartache, confusion, agony and a plethora of feelings and raw emotion overcame Callie. She quickly shifted her weight, leaning towards Mark and kissing him passionately. Mark slid his tongue against Callie's before his conscience stepped in and made matters complicated. Normally Mark would just ignore the voice inside his head and have his way with her, but this time he couldn't ignore the tiny voice, even as he remembered just how good Callie was in bed.

"And I'm not going to be someone else's dirty little secret," Mark said as he pulled away.

Callie threw herself back into her chair and brought her fingertips to her temples. "I'm so sorry...I don't know...what came over me."

"Payback?" Mark suggested.

"I don't want to be one of those girls..."

"You're not, which is exactly why my hand isn't in your pants right now."

"Thanks," Callie sighed.

"How about I get you some lunch?" Mark asked. Callie just gave a nod as she chewed at her fingernails, her eyes focusing on the doorknob of the room.

Mark moved towards the door and Callie's eyes didn't shift. He slipped outside, mildly irritated to see that George wasn't waiting. Even Mark Sloan knew that Callie Torres was someone worth fighting for. George was nowhere to be seen. Was he really giving up that easily? Mark sighed and opened his cell phone and after a moment of hesitation he highlighted the first name on his contact list.

**Addison. **

------------------------------------

Izzie had managed to make it through her surgery, forcing herself to pay no attention to George unless she was ordering him to make an incision or telling him what sort of stitches would be needed. Lexie stood quietly obeying, hanging on to Izzie's every word and making herself extremely useful.

Izzie pulled her aside after the surgery and used every ounce of compassion she had left in her to push aside her own personal problems to help Meredith.

"You need to talk to Meredith," Izzie stated.

"What? No!" Lexie gasped.

"Please! She's not in her right frame of mine and...she needs you. I know she hit you and that seriously sucks but...you have to look at where she's coming from."

"I have no idea where she's coming from seeing as she wouldn't give me the time of day from the beginning," Lexie growled. Izzie sighed.

"This is why you need to talk to her!" Izzie exclaimed.

"I can't," Lexie sulked.

"You know, your Mom really cared about Meredith..."

"Who are you to bring up my mother?" Lexie gasped.

Izzie's eyes lowered and she and Lexie stood in silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry," Lexie finally said. "I...I just know nothing about her and my Mom dies and suddenly I find out she's been hanging out with the sister I never knew and...that sister wants nothing to do with me...I want everything to do with her! It hurts...and...I just..."

"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable..."

"I'll go," Lexie said and Izzie lifted her head.

"What?"

"I'll go...see Meredith...I just...need to go to my parent's house and pick something up...if that's okay..."

"It's fine," Izzie nodded as a small smile turned the corners of her mouth upwards.

Izzie tapped her fingertips against her steering wheel as she waited for Lexie to emerge from her father's house. Lexie finally ran down the front steps, a large brown grocery bag in her hands.

"What is it?"

"Oh...it's nothing," Lexie stated and Izzie nodded.

They made their way to Queen Anne Hill and Izzie was mildly relieved to see Cristina had already left. She knew Cristina would not be pleased to see Lexie.

Izzie made her way up the porch and into the house, Lexie following close behind, holding the bag tightly to her chest.

"Mer?" Izzie called out. She started up the stairs when she didn't get an answer.

She pushed open the door to Meredith's room and spied Meredith on the bed, curled up in the fetal position with a pillow pressed against her stomach. She stared at her window despite the shades being drawn.

"Meredith?" Izzie asked.

Meredith didn't turn to look at Izzie as she spoke. "I just want to be left alone," she said softly.

"I brought someone to see you," Izzie sighed.

Lexie slipped into the room and set the brown paper bag on a small table by the door.

"What is she doing here?" Meredith gasped as she sat up.

Lexie moved forward, dropping her hands to her sides. "Meredith, we need to talk."


	8. Chapter 8: One Fine Wire

"You need to leave," Meredith growled.

"Meredith..." Izzie sighed.

"Izzie, how could you?!" Meredith gasped.

"Give her a damn chance, Meredith. Do you know how guilty she feels? It's not like she walked into the bar and said 'hey look, there is the significant other of my half sister that I hardly know, let me pursue him.' I'm not going to watch you slip into dark and twisty mode. You were the one to get me off the bathroom floor so now I'm preventing you from winding up on it. Seriously, Mer...try, try and talk to her, do it for me, do it for Cristina, Alex and...George...just do this!"

Meredith's eyes shifted to Lexie who was standing by the door, staring down at her sneakers with her arms folded over her chest.

"Fine," Meredith sighed and Izzie nodded, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

"Meredith...I can't say I'm sorry enough for what I did. So, I'm going to stop saying anything about it after this. You don't have to forgive me, I don't expect you to, and I appreciate you letting me in here right now...There's a lot I need to talk to you about and none of it has anything to do with Derek."

"I don't want to talk about your father," Meredith sulked.

"Our father," Lexie corrected.

"He is not my father. He may have taken part in my creation but he is not a father to me, nor has he been since the day he walked out on me."

"There's a lot you don't know..."

"Oh, and you do?" Meredith snarled.

"May I?" Lexie asked, motioning towards the bed.

Meredith took a deep breath and slowly nodded as Lexie sat herself down on the edge of the bed.

"I wish I could have spoken to you when my Mom was still alive. Apparently she really liked you, trusted you and...I just don't understand now how she didn't let me see you sooner. Maybe she didn't know how I would take it..."

"How I would take it," Meredith muttered.

"What?"

"I...I blew your Mom off on a regular basis when she tried to get to know me. I think she was fearful I would just hurt you...or whatever."

"In her will, she left me information on you. I had no clue she even had a will, it just seemed so...morbid and now I realize that people can die anytime and...I'm rambling but...it's like she knew. She knew and she wanted me to continue what she started."

"There's nothing to continue," Meredith stated, "I don't need a family."

"That's what you may think," Lexie said.

"I've done perfectly fine on my own and my friends make excellent substitutes."

"I know, I know...you're not looking for a sister or whatever you said."

"Good, you're smarter than I've given you credit," Meredith stated.

"Have you tried talking to him?" Lexie asked.

Meredith laughed to herself. "I made an effort, alright? I made an effort and he hit me and told me I wasn't welcome amongst other things. I was going to go to your mother's funeral and he...look, would you honestly want to be around a man who left you as a little girl with no answers? Imagine having plans to go to the park with your Daddy the next day and waking up the next morning to his car gone and his stuff packed. Five years old, that's over two decades of wondering what the hell you did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Lexie said softly.

"Tell that to a little girl whose mother resented her and her father couldn't even get the nerve to talk to."

Lexie just looked at Meredith who shook her head.

"Of course, you wouldn't understand," Meredith sighed. "You are his pride and joy, obviously...the one who can't do anything wrong, right? You and Molly had these perfect lives with your perfect parents and your picket fence while I was babysat and taken care of by the wife of the man my mother was having an affair with! I was left behind for supposed surgeries and then moved across country so my mother could run away from it all, including me. I'd come home from junior high to ten dollars and a Chinese food menu. I didn't get home cooked meals and I didn't take ballet and I sure as hell didn't go to the mall with my mom and talk about boys!"

"I...don't know what to say..." Lexie muttered.

"I didn't expect you to."

They sat in silence for a moment, a cool wind blowing through the bedroom window causing the blinds to tap against the window pane.

Meredith pulled her comforter up and tucked it under her arms, folding her hands over her stomach. Her eyes shifted on the room, finally focusing on Lexie who hung her head in silence.

"I don't understand why you're so persistent to talk to me," Meredith sighed. "It's really not worth it."

"To me it is," Lexie said, lifting her head and looking back at Meredith with tear filled eyes.

Meredith hung her head and wondered why she had even allowed Lexie to stay. She hated talking about her past, her emotions, anything that involved her walls tumbling down and the exposure of who she truly was. She was a broken girl struggling to live behind the façade that she was "fine" despite the fact that her friends knew it was all an illusion. She continued to pretend and yet there she was, raw and exposed in front of the sister she never got to know.

"What's in the bag?" Meredith asked as she noticed the brown paper bag beside her door.

"One of the many things I came here to talk to you about," Lexie stated.

"Well..." Meredith urged.

Lexie nodded and stood, moving towards the door. She felt the paper crinkle under her fingertips as she lifted it and moved it over to the bed.

"My mother found this," Lexie began. "She left it in the closet of my old room, and when I came back here...well, I figure she had every intention of me finding it. It's like I said...it's as if she knew she were going to die or...never mind. I...I brought it here because you need to see it."

Lexie set the bag in Meredith's lap and nervously bit at her bottom lip.

Meredith raised an eyebrow at her and then reached into the bag, pulling out a small package wrapped in faded, worn birthday paper. The paper was yellow with pink, green and blue balloons. On the top of the package was a card marked _Meredith._

"What...what is this?" Meredith asked, furrowing her brow in confusion.

Lexie shook her head. "I have no idea what's in the box."

Meredith tore the card from the package and flipped it over, sliding her finger under the seal to open it.

Her father's shaky and rather sloppy handwriting jumped out at her from the yellowed card with a clown on the front. The front of the card exclaimed **Silly Smiles and Birthday Giggles for the special 6 year old**! Meredith struggled to breathe as her eyes scanned what Thatcher had written.

_Dear Meredith,_

_Daddy is very sorry he cannot be with you on your birthday. Maybe someday soon I can come see you but Massachusetts is very far away you know. I know that sometimes it is very hard to understand everything, but never think that I don't love you. I love you very much and things are just hard right now. They will get better; I hope someday you will understand this. You will always be my special girl, no matter what happens. I hope you are doing well, your mother hasn't sent your school picture yet but I'm waiting for it. I bet you've grown a lot since I last saw you. I hope you still like horses; I remember they were your absolute favorite thing. I do hope to see you soon, princess._

_Love,_

_Daddy_

Meredith gasped and brought a hand to her mouth and Lexie instinctively placed her hand on Meredith's shoulder. Meredith took a long, drawn out breath, struggling to hold back the tears that were beginning to flood her eyes. She ran her fingers over the worn paper of the box and closed her eyes for a second as a single tear rolled down her cheek, and then she began to slowly tear off the paper.

She opened the box and reached through the tissue paper to feel something soft and fluffy against her fingertips. Pulling it out, she began to sob.

It was a darling stuffed brown horse with black button eyes and a white mane, complete with a fabric saddle and long soft tail. Meredith clung to the horse, pressing it into her chest as the tears flowed freely, staining her cheeks.

Lexie pulled Meredith closer, and for a moment Meredith struggled against her touch before she finally relaxed her muscles and rested her head on her sister's shoulder.

* * *

Callie heard someone at the door and it infuriated her beyond explanation. She knew it had to be George. Couldn't he take the hint? His things were packed up neatly and left in the lobby for him, and she left him with the very firm statement, "We're over."

The door swung open and Callie jumped up to see who it was. The light of the main room was flipped on and there stood Addison Montgomery a hand planted on her hip and a disappointed glare in her eyes.

Addison moved forward, ripping the comforter and sheets from the bed. "Get out of this bed," she ordered.

Callie threw herself back into the bed, her head hitting the pillow as she sighed, "I really regret giving you a spare key now."

"Okay, now you're just infuriating me," Addison growled.

"Addie, he cheated on me, he cheated on me with that 'stacked supermodel' and I'm a freaking IDIOT for not following up on my suspicions."

"If you're an idiot what does that make me? Izzie Stevens practically spilled everything to me and I never said anything to you. I let you go on, attempting to make babies and living behind your happily ever after façade because I was in denial and wanted to believe he was a better man than that...and I was wrong. Callie, you are NOT an idiot for loving him, he's an idiot for not reciprocating."

Addison climbed onto the bed and sat next to Callie, kicking off her heels as she took a deep breath.

"I can't do this...I can't go back to the hospital with everyone knowing my husband's a whore and...it was right in front of my face. "

"Who are you?" Addison asked.

"What?" Callie questioned.

"Who the hell are you?" Addison asked.

"I'm Callie..."

"No, you're not Callie. Because the Callie Torres I know won't let a man reduce her to moping in a bed. The Callie Torres I know is Chief Resident and a damn good one at that and she would not let a man ruin her career."

"Callie Torres has never loved a man the way she loves George O'Malley."

"Well then, Addison Montgomery is going to have to beat some sense into her. Or try and fail miserably because Callie Torres is intimidating."

Callie laughed a bit under the blanket of tears rolling down her cheeks; Addison reached over and draped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in closer.

"He's going to regret this for the rest of his life. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, the only person who treated him not like a little boy, but like a man. You'll come out on top, because you're smart, beautiful and talented. Do not let this ruin you, you seriously do not want to end up like me, dried up and lonely. You've got so much going for you; don't lock yourself away from those of us who can actually see you for what you're worth."

"I want to hate him so bad," Callie cried. "I want to loathe him with every fiber of my being but I cannot hate him, I love him, I love him and I don't know what to do."

"Do for Callie, that's what you do."

Callie took a deep breath and as struggled to tame her tears, she looked over at Addison and furrowed her brow in thought. "How did you... how did you know what happened? How did you know to come here?"

"Never you mind," Addison grinned.

"Don't be cryptic," Callie laughed.

"Hey, all that matters is that I'm here, right?" Addison asked.

"You have no idea how grateful I am to have you in this bed with me right now," Callie sighed.

"Was that a sexual comment?" Addison laughed and Callie shoved her away.

"Hey, at least you're smiling now," Addison grinned.

"Am I wrong for wanting to give him another chance?" Callie asked.

"You love him, of course you're going to want to try and fix this. You may not be able to set this fracture though, Callie. What happens if it displaces again? You can keep pinning it back together but it won't be the same."

"Wow," Callie said, her mouth hanging agape.

"What? I make a decent point, don't I?"

"You do," Callie sighed.

"I can't make decisions for you, Cal. But right now your number one concern is you, if he should miraculously redeem himself then...we'll see what happens from there, but right now you need your space and act like you have no cares in the world...it'll drive him insane."

"I can't believe I was trying to have a baby with him...after he screwed HER. Ugh, I feel tainted."

"You are not tainted, shut up."

Callie scrunched her nose and sulked and Addison sat up straight and looked her in the eyes. "Get up, get out of this bed, get dressed and I'll take you out to dinner. You deserve a night on the town. We can drink away our sorrows and have a girl's night out just you, me, the city of Seattle and a dozen mojitos."

Callie laughed. "What if I were to say no?"

"I'd drag you out of here," Addison growled, whacking her with a pillow. "You cannot say no to me."

"You have a point," Callie said.

"Good," Addison grinned, standing and extending her arm to Callie. Reluctantly, Callie grabbed it and Addison helped her up.

"Let's go live life like it's actually worth living," she said.

* * *

"Where is she?" Cristina snapped as she stormed into the house, slamming the door behind her.

"She's...busy right now," Izzie said nervously.

"Evil spawn alerted me that you left with Lexie. Where is that little McSlut? If you brought her here I will put you in the back of the closet with Meredith's mother!"

Izzie backed away from Cristina, who began rolling up her sleeves.

"She IS here," Izzie choked out, "But they're doing fine...seriously!"

"I'll seriously damage your face, Cinderella," Cristina growled. She paused and gave a sigh before rolling her eyes and then starting up the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Izzie asked.

"To rescue my person," Cristina stated as Izzie bolted up the stairs after her.

Cristina opened Meredith's door and peered inside and Izzie smiled at what she saw. Lexie and Meredith were curled up on the bed, facing each other. They were asleep, a small stuffed horse tucked between them, their cheeks still stained with tears.

Cristina backed away from the door, looking one last time at the duo. She shrugged and then turned to Izzie. "Well then, that settles that."

Izzie smiled and Cristina sighed.

"Make me a sandwich," Cristina ordered, before heading down the stairs.

Izzie rolled her eyes and laughed to herself. "Fine," she said as she followed Cristina.

* * *

**NOTES: Semi short chapter but I really wanted to get these two major issues approached and minorly dealt with. This doesn't mean Lexie and Mer will be BFF and what not now, far from it. But it's a small step forward in bridging the huge gap between Meredith and Thatcher.**

**Thanks to my regular reviewers, I hope this chapter didn't dissapoint!**


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